


Pillow Talk, Sex and Other Stuff

by Wonderful_Homebody



Series: Incompatible [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Crack Treated Seriously, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, For sure this time, Friends With Benefits, I think?, I'll try my best, Kevin's redemption arc, M/M, OOC, Porn With Plot, Rarepair, Slow Burn, Smut, Steven is 18, The romance is not slow but it is not fast either, What is the opposite of a slow burn?, because come on y’all really think they would be together in canon, because if Rebecca won't write it then I will, just in case, kind of???, medium burn?, sassy side hand emoji, unhealthy to healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderful_Homebody/pseuds/Wonderful_Homebody
Summary: Orall the ways in which Steven and Kevin are just friends with benefits.Working title
Relationships: Kevin & Steven Universe, Kevin/Steven Universe
Series: Incompatible [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1969399
Comments: 30
Kudos: 64





	1. I. You drool when you sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read Dick Appointment then you are going to be mad confused lol. I wrote this ship due to being bored and now it's turned into a whole series so here we are
> 
> Kevin’s POV: Steven makes a mess on Kevin’s shirt

Kevin’s room smells of sweat and sex.

Coming down from his afterglow, Kevin relaxes onto his pillows. Using one hand for his phone, he scrolls through his Gram. His other arm is wrapped around Steven, who nuzzles sleepily into his chest. Lazily, Kevin runs his thumb back and forth on Steven’s arm.

Steven has been coming over a lot more lately.

Not that Kevin cares or anything.

Something changed after their little sleepover. It didn’t start off fast; it was more like a gradual shift in their routine. They still got drunk, talked, and had sex, but the afterwards became different.

It first started with Steven lingering longer than he should in bed.

Next, it went to him shifting closer to Kevin.

Initially, it was a little weird for Kevin. He knew Steven was a touchy-feely type of guy, but he wasn’t. Kevin wasn’t raised that way. His father found emotions like that weak; boys weren’t supposed to feel that way, he told Kevin. Boys were supposed to be strong, collected, powerful and Kevin took that to heart.

Hell, when he was first going out with Sabina the most he did was hold her hand. The intimacy came later and it came slow. Though, Kevin would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the feeling of holding someone after his break-up.

But, Kevin didn’t do much when Steven did try to insinuate some cuddling. He just laid there for the first few times and eventually Steven would inch back on the far side of the bed, getting the hint.

However, overtime, Kevin began to notice little things about Steven: how prominent his eye bags were, how often he yawned, and how he nodded off only to jolt himself awake. And it  _ actually _ made Kevin feel bad because it was clear that Steven was going through something, whatever that was. So one day, after sex, Kevin just complied Steven’s request and hugged him.

Since then, after sex cuddling had became sort of apart of the routine.

“Amethyst, don’t eat that!” Kevin hears Steven mumble. He looks down and sees Steven’s face contort into something resembling annoyance before softening up again.

Biting his lower lip, Kevin stifles a chuckle.

Muttering in his sleep isn’t an uncommon thing for Steven to do. Usually, Steven’s sleep talk came out in fragments, being either quiet protests for Amethyst to stop eating his food or about his pet Lion.

And Kevin hates to admit it (he really fucking does) but what Steven does is so adorable.

Kevin fully abandons his feed to partake in his guilty pleasure: watching Steven sleep.

Scratch that. He didn’t watch, watch Steven all the time like some creep. And the looks were more so occasional glances.

Besides, Steven asleep is different from Steven awake and it is a sight to see. Asleep, Steven’s features soften up; his eyebrows relax, and the lines of stress disappear from his face. Little whistles of air always came out for his nose. Steven is warm too, like a space heater (which worried Kevin initially until he realized that it might be a gem/alien thing), and he is so incredibly soft. For a supposed gem warrior, he barely has any scars or imperfections.

Kevin pulls Steven closer to him and takes a look at his phone. 8:30. He would have to wake Steven up soon. 

Groaning, Kevin reaches over and places his phone on his nightstand. He returns, looks down at Steven once more, and brushes a curl away from his face. Steven’s hair is getting longer. A few more weeks and he’ll be able to put it up in a bun.

Kevin shifts more up on the bed causing Steven to groan.

Even this kid’s groans are cute.

Shifting more, Kevin feels a wet spot on his shirt. He lets out a groan of his own.

Everything about Steven is cute (only cute, never endearing) except the drooling.

“Dude, this is like my favorite shirt,” Kevin whines to a still sleeping Steven. 

The drooling is a problem. Granted, there was never a lot of drool, not enough to soak his shirt and Kevin always washed his clothes after, but-- the principle! It’s gross!

He didn’t know about Steven, but Kevin would personally like it if someone told him that he drools while sleeping. It’s the polite thing to do after all.

Also, this would be officially the tenth time Steven did this.

“Steven,” Kevin says, gently shaking his arm, “Steven, wake up.”

Brown eyes flutter open and Steven rises up, yawning. 

Kevin cuts to the chase (because he needs to forget how cute of a sound Steven just made). “You know, you drool when you sleep.”

“What?” Steven says, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“You drool when you sleep,” Kevin says again. “You do it. A lot.”

Steven’s cheeks instantly turn a dusty red. 

“I--what, no I don’t!”

“Yes, you do.” Kevin pulls down his shirt, displaying the small puddle of spit that resided in the middle of his T-shirt.

“Oh” is all Steven says. He turns away and Kevin can see him quickly wipe away the rest of his drool. Kevin chuckles at the shyness of Steven’s action.

“You never knew you drooled?”

Steven turns back and fidgets with the bed sheets. “Yeahh, sort of. During when I slept over. I honestly didn’t think you would’ve noticed.”

Oh, Kevin noticed.

He just didn’t say anything at the time.

“I mean, it is kind of gross,” Kevin admits with a sigh and Steven’s face hardens. “But… you’re adorable whenever you sleep so I usually dismiss it.”

Steven’s mouth opens, apage, and his eyes grow cartoonishly wide. The blush on his cheeks darkens. This kid always had the most overly exaggerated expressions; it’s one of the only reasons why Kevin likes to tease him so.

“Stop calling me that!” There is a high, underlining whine to Steven’s request.

Against his wish, Kevin continues to mess with him. “Aww, Steven what’s the matter?” He cups together his hands, putting them close to the side of his face, and does his best baby-voice impression. “Baby is so cute when he’s angry. Awww, does Stevie-Weenie want his bottle?”

“Stop it!” Steven says again. He pushes the covers back and gets out of bed.

Kevin doesn’t stop. “Awww, baby Stevie, do you want me to get you an apron for the next time you drool? Aw, come on, don’t be angry.”

Steven pauses mid way from putting on his jeans to stick the middle finger out at Kevin. “You are the fucking worse.”

“Really, then why are you letting me fuck you?”

Steven stutters in his movements.

Kevin got Steven good this time.

“Whatever, I’m glad I drooled on your shirt. Probably looks better now,” Steven snaps, pulling his shirt over his head.

“As opposed to off...”

“Shut it, Kevin.”

Steven puts on his jacket. He then runs a hand through his hair, taming some unruly curls back into place. “Anyways, I have to go. The Gems are going to kill me if I come in late like last time.” Steven rolls his eyes. “I stayed away from home for one night, and now I have a fucking curfew.”

A sudden pink glow engulfs his body.

Uh-oh. Kevin learned rather quickly to distinguish between each of Steven’s different glows. During sex, it was due to excitement, pelasure, arosuement. Outside of sex though, glowing pink meant Steven was agitated, pissed, or frustrated. It is only an episode, and Kevin knows that, but it worries him to see Steven so wound up and heated.

Not that Kevin cares too much of course.

Through the time they spent together, Kevin had developed a few methods of calming Steven down: complimenting him, telling him straight up that he’s pink, or distracting him with a joke.

“And yet you still drool when you sleep. Now, that’s the bigger tragedy.”

Steven does a short tsk and the corners of his lips curl up. His glow diminishes. “Whatever, Kevin.”

The last method always works the best.

“Don’t whatever me, Universe! You owe me a shirt,” Kevin snaps playfully and then mirrors Steven’s smile. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

Steven chuckles. “Okay, okay. Yeah, I’ll see you later.”

Kevin watches as Steven throws him one last smile. For a second, he wants to call out to Steven and ask him if there is any way he could stay longer. It’s been so long since he cuddled with anybody, felt a warm body close to him. Instead, Kevin lays back down and closes his eyes, letting Steven go. There’s a sound of the front door opening then closing.

Kevin rolls over to the other side of the bed. It’s still warm from Steven’s body temperature. He should do laundry now--his shirt is a mess and so are the sheets. Pulling the covers over his body, he rubs his face into the pillow. It’s so soft and he is so warm. He just needs five more minutes of rest.

Give or take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry Rick Riordan for stealing such a good line from you just to write in a fanfiction. Forgive me, Father for I have sinned


	2. II. Don't Stop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven’s POV: Steven has been having a shitty day

It’s official.

Steven’s day has been shit.

Under normal circumstances, he would be talking to Connie about it.

But, normal never appealed to Steven and she was probably busy, no doubt with college prep. He didn’t want to pester her. Not to mention after the whole proposal and doctor fiasco, just hearing Connie’s voice might flare up another glowing-pink-and-growing episode for Steven.

Yeah, no.

It’s exactly why he has someone else now.

Knots of anxiety tighten up like tangled cords in Steven’s stomach. It’s been like that all day. The feeling has been clouding Steven’s mind so much that he forgot to text Kevin that he was coming. Steven really needs something to take the edge off and he needs it now.

So when he knocks on Kevin’s door and Kevin answers, Steven doesn’t say anything.

He acts.

His hands grab Kevin by his shirt collar, pulling him forward. As soon as their lips touch, Steven moans. The sudden movement causes Kevin to wobble, first forward then back, but he quickly regains his balance and embraces Steven. Hands are felt featherly resting on the lower part of Steven’s back.

Wanting,  _ needing _ more, Steven’s hands leave Kevin’s collar, for his neck, pulling him even closer. A tongue timidly prods Steven’s lips. Moaning again, he opens his mouth wider allowing Kevin’s tongue to slip inside.

This feels nice,  _ really  _ nice. And it definitely helps that Kevin is such a good kisser (something Steven will never tell Kevin.)

As quickly as Steven kisses Kevin, he breaks away, breathless. “I had such a bad day.”

Without even thinking, Steven’s hands find their way under Kevin’s shirt, feeling around his chest. “I love Pearl, but sometimes she’s so much!”

He places another kiss on Kevin’s lips. “I’m sorry I didn’t text you, but I kind of need this right now,” he murmurs, then leans in once again for more. Steven never gets it though as Kevin quickly turns his head away.

That single motion is like a slap in the face. Was Kevin getting annoyed? Now? Steven thought Kevin would appreciate him getting to the point. Sure, he should have texted him earlier, but this is an emergency. Steven needs this; he needs to feel something, anything from how he felt a mere few hours ago.

Frustrated, Steven whines. “Kevin…”

“Sorry, shit, I didn’t mean to stop you,” Kevin apologizes, looking back at Steven. His eyes then darts to something past Steven. “Just let me close the door first, okay?”

“Huh?” Steven turns around; his hands don’t leave Kevin.

The front door is wide open.

They,  _ he _ , almost...with the door open…

Steven steps away from Kevin, keeping his eyes on the floor.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin assures and shuts the door. Taking Steven’s hand into his, Kevin leads him into the living room. “We can talk now if you want.”

Kevin sits down on the couch and pats the spot next to him. Steven flops down, arms crossed, groaning. 

Where does he even start?

“Well, I mean, Pearl is amazing! I love her, but sometimes...ugh! Sometimes she treats me like a little kid, which I’m  _ not!”  _ Heat rushes over Steven’s body as he talks. “Like, this morning, she was kind of annoying me. Stars, I know that sounds bad! But, she kept asking if I was okay and like when was the last time I did laundry or ate. Stuff you would ask a little kid, you know?”

Remembering more from this morning, Steven lets out a dry laugh. “Then, of course she asked yet again about where I was when I slept over here. I can’t tell her the truth obviously so I just repeated what I told her last time about me hanging out with Lars and the Off Colors.” That was such a bad lie. Steven should’ve expected the Gems to be suspicious considering Lion, at the time, was home all night and Amethyst was the last person to see him leave.

“She still didn’t buy it; no one did when I told them I first time. But then, she went into this whole thing about how she’s worried and how I’ve been acting weird lately with the whole turning pink thing and crashing my dad’s van.” Steven runs a hand through his hair. He yanks it then lets go, continuing on.

“I told her she shouldn’t worry because I’m fine, but then she said she didn’t like ‘my attitude’ as of recent which is such a fucking lie because I didn’t even have an attitude. I never have an attitude.” 

And it was true. Steven rarely, if ever, had an attitude. There were so many times he  _ wanted _ to have one with the Gems, or any other gem that tried to kill him, but he couldn’t. While everyone around him was facing their demons and their problems, Steven had to be there  _ for  _ them. 

He had to be the helper, the protector, the level-headed one, the emotionally stable one, the bigger person. Forget what he was feeling, it didn’t matter. If he was down, if he was affected then who would be there to pick up the pieces to move things forward?

Steven didn’t have the time to “have an attitude”. He never did.

So, it really got to him when Pearl, with hands on her hips, (sounding so  _ condescending  _ too) just blurted that out. To Steven of all people.

Steven’s voice quickens, becoming more and more shaky. “I told her I didn’t have one and that I just wanted to be left alone. But then, of course, Garnet and Amethyst come in. And there they go! Garnet gives me some fucking advice I don’t wanna hear because I’m fine--”

“Steven.”

“And Amethyst acts like she’s so mature now, telling me she’s been there before. Oh yeah, I totally remember when she had her little outbursts--”

“Steven.”

“Nearly killed me by smashing me into a pillar because  _ she  _ was insecure and she just happened to feel that way right at the time I was becoming more comfortable with my powers.”

If he hadn’t bubbled himself at the right time.

If  _ he  _ hadn’t suggested fighting her…

His hands ball up pieces of his denim. “But, maybe I shouldn’t have let her fight me. I just wanted her to feel better, but that involved me getting hurt as usual.”

“Steven.”

“Everyone expects me to be so nice and unphased by everything like how I was when I was a kid.” Steven laughs again, harshly. “It’s funny. Everyone wanted me to grow up, but now that I am suddenly they don’t like it! And everyone gets to have their moment, but whenever I have  _ mine  _ suddenly it’s a fucking problem!”

“Steven!” Kevin’s hands grasp his shoulders.

From the way Kevin stares at him with such concern, Steven is pretty sure that he’s glowing pink. One glance to his hands, and Steven’s suspicions are confirmed.

Oh.

He must have gone a little overboard.

Uncurling his hands, Steven sighs and forces himself to stop glowing. “I’m sorry; I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

Kevin takes a hold of Steven’s face; his thumb brushes against Steven’s cheek and it occurs to Steven that his whole face is wet. Has--has he been crying this whole time? Stars, he is a kid! He just threw a full-blown temper tantrum. And it was in front of  _ Kevin _ !

“Hey, it’s okay.” The gentleness of Kevin’s voice pushes Steven’s shame away. “I’m sorry you had such a shitty day.” He continues to wipe away Steven’s tears.

Steven bites his lower lip, sucking on briefly. Kevin’s random shows of affection are getting more frequent. It isn’t necessarily bad; it’s better than the alternative at least and the little thing he does with his thumb, rubbing it back and forth--

No, Steven needs to focus on something else (fast).

“Oh, that was only this morning. I kinda had a screaming match with my dad, which was a first,” Steven admits.

“Really? What about?” Steven’s face is dry, though Kevin continues to rub his thumbs on Steven’s cheeks.

“Um, nothing much, just about stuff…”

It is best to spare the details. He already saddled Kevin with enough of his problems. The argument was way too personal anyways. The conversation with his dad didn’t mean to get so heated. Steven just wanted some comfort after this morning, but then his dad said something wrong, something that didn’t sit right with him ( _ “You’re so strong, Schtu-ball!” “Dad, I don’t want to have to be strong! I want to be normal!” _ ) and he blew up, calling his dad selfish and many other not-so-nice things. His dad didn’t take well to his outburst, not like last time. After intense minutes of shouting, screaming and tears from both him and his father, Steven couldn’t take it anymore and just left.

“Then, I tried training with Jasper, but that didn’t help.” Steven scrunches up his face. “I think Jasper might be a sadist or something. She gets so happy whenever I’m angry. I had to stop; I didn’t want to keep going and end up doing something I might regret later.”

“Yeah, from what you tell me she would be a total dom in bed.”

Steven snorts, pushing Kevin away from him. Kevin really had to bring up sex in a time like this? Steven doesn’t even want to think about Jasper in such a sexual setting (but he does agree that she totally would be a dom).

“Please don’t put that image in my head,” Steven laughs. 

“But, it made you laugh,” Kevin says. He draws Steven closer to him by his waist. “Right?”

“Yeah, it did,” Steven smiles; it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thanks for listening. I didn’t mean to dump this all on you.” His mind goes back to earlier and how he treated everyone. He hadn’t really been the nicest person this morning. Or in the afternoon either. All he really did was yell at everyone and then ran off. Doing that was stupid.

For one, the Gems and his dad were probably worried and that went beyond just today. Steven hasn’t been keeping a good track record of being “just fine”. His outburst at the Shell, trapping his friends in a crushing bubble, the Cactus Steven incident, proposing to Connie, almost killing his dad...that was enough to raise concern for anybody. And now, his snapping. For fuck sake, he made his dad cry!

His dad deserves an apology and so do the Gems. They didn't mean any harm. They love Steven and just wanted to know why he’s been so moody lately.

If anything it’s his fault for not hiding it so well.

“I should probably go. I need to apologize to everyone,” Steven says finally.

The hold on his waist doesn’t let up. 

“You don’t have to go right away.” Kevin’s voice dips down. “You can stay for a while. I mean, you deserve a break.” Another hand is placed on Steven’s face again; Kevin’s thumb is at it again, rubbing back and forth, left and right.

Steven's gaze goes down to his hands. He would like to stay here for a while and it would be so easy to do, just to let go and forget everything. He really does want a break. But, as much as he wants to, the Gems and his dad have to come first.

Steven meets Kevin’s eyes. “I really want to stay, but I don’t want them to worry…”

“You can. Just apologize later.”

“Kevin…”

“Steven.” The way Kevin says Steven’s name sends a shiver down his spine and not the bad kind.

“Steven,” Kevin says again, this time in more of a hush. “You’re stressed. I’m here. Just let me take care of you.”

_ Oh, stars! _

With that voice and how Kevin holds him and rubs his cheek, Steven really, really wants to stay now. He doesn’t remember the last time he was taken care of, usually he’s the one fulfilling that role.

How many times Kevin has done this, made someone feel so important and safe, like their the only thing in the world he cares about. How many times had he rubbed someone else’s cheek, held someone else close to him, made his voice so low and so sweet. A bunch? Probably.

That thought of doubt alone should deteriorate Steven, make him get up and find some comfort--genuine comfort-- elsewhere with someone like Connie or maybe Lars or just anyone not Kevin.

But, he doesn’t want anyone else.

He wants Kevin.

And, how funny and fucked up is that?

Kevin’s thumb wanders away from Steven’s cheek to his lips, parting them slightly. Steven gasps. His heart beat speeds up; the pounding resonates in his ears.

“It’s okay. Kevin will take care of you.” Steven wants to laugh at how Kevin just referred to himself in the third person, but he can’t because Kevin’s lip locks onto his. The kiss is rough due to Kevin’s lips being chapped, but Steven doesn’t mind. In fact, it kind of feels nice.

Sighing softly, Steven’s hands drift from Kevin’s neck to his chest, stopping there for a second, before pushing him down into the couch. Teeth click together. 

“Sorry,” Steven whispers, raising up.

“S’okay,” Kevin mutters in that stupid suave voice that Steven hates to like. He pulls Steven back down to his lips. The smell of Kevin’s cologne dances around Steven’s nose, enticing him some more. This morning fades away. All that’s left is here and now and how good this all feels.

A tug is on Steven’s jacket then a pull until, with one swift motion, Kevin pushes past Steven’s shoulders. Slipping off the rest of his body, Steven lets his jacket fall to the floor. It was getting too stuffy anyways.

Steven moves a hand under Kevin’s shirt. The kiss transforms, becoming more frantic, sloppy,  _ desperate _ .

This is all an act: Kevin’s niceness. It’s too sugary. Too sweet. Too kind. But, Steven doesn’t care. This is an illusion he doesn’t mind living in for a while.

Kisses trail from Steven’s lips to his collarbone, and oh how Steven likes when Kevin does that! There’s a lick followed by a bite and Steven hisses, delighted by such pain.

Forget Jasper. Maybe he’s the actual freak.

Kevin stops. Hair ruffled, lips red and cheeks flushed, he looks up at Steven with hesitation. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Steven says, moaning slightly. Patience is something Steven always had a bit of trouble with and with the way Kevin looks, his body flushed against Steven’s, it only intensifies. Relief is almost there. No, it’s right there, waiting eagerly for him (and only him) to make the next move. 

Steven dips down and kisses Kevin, murmuring between each peck.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”

And Kevin doesn’t.

He keeps going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing kissing scenes is hard :( and I may or may not have been listening to Ariana Grande’s needy while writing and editing this. AND I really tried posting 4 chapters all at once, but school has been kicking my butt!
> 
> Up Next: III. Ahegao Face


	3. III. Ahegao Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kevin’s POV: Kevin sees Steven do something unexpected
> 
> Also: Gram=SU version Instagram; Boogle= SU version of Google
> 
> Also, also I need to stop uploading at night lol

Kevin has standards when it comes to sex. High standards.

Number 1. He has to cum. No ifs, ands, or buts. Some people would call him cruel or “unrealistic” but to him sex isn’t worth a damn if he doesn’t climax by the end of it.

Number 2. The person he’s fucking has to be hot. Obviously. Or at least cute.

And number 3. Kevin has to be in control. Not in a dangerous nonconsensual type of way. Nothing like that. Kevin just...he has a particular kink. A slap of the ass, a bit of dirty talk, some biting--nothing too extreme. Not extreme for him at least. Most people he’s been with don’t really like it (especially his ex), but there are a very small section group of people that do. Those people, there the ones that Kevin definitely likes to fuck.

“Ahhh~Kevinnnn~”

And Steven happens to be one of those people.

Below Kevin, Steven is flushed bright pink, eyes half-lidded and his mouth is pouring out moans and obscenities; his nails dig into Kevin’s arms as he holds on, riding out each thrust given to him.

In a million years, Kevin would of never thought he would be fucking Steven. For one the kid absolutely despised him, or at least he did, before Kevin met him at that bar and they fucked. Second, Steven isn’t Kevin’s type. Far from it. Shallow as it might be, Kevin prefers the bombshell type--the Gram influencer, the aspiring model, the person everyone just stops and stares at because their so unbelievably gorgeous. Steven doesn’t fit that mold. Not that he’s ugly or anything. No, he isn’t. It’s just that Steven is kind of a cutie, something Kevin isn’t usually into.

But despite all of that, Steven is a walking contradiction and that turns Kevin on. From the outside, Steven is adorable, nice, sensitive and sweet. But in bed, he’s a totally different person.

“Kevinnn~faster, please! Fuck me~”

Smirking, Kevin thrusts harder, beginning to pick up more speed. He leans closer to Steven’s ear and whispers. “Fucking slut~you really like taking my dick, huh?”

Steven whimpers and Kevin swears he can hear a faint “yes”. He doesn’t comment on it though. Instead, his hands find their way to Steven’s thighs, pushing them up high until knees are to Steven’s ears. Usually anyone else in this position would have complained, telling Kevin how much that hurts and he needs to slow down. But, sweet Steven just moans, smiling in between.

And oh, that’s what Kevin likes about Steven. Right there! Steven is a submissive freak: he never complains whenever he gets fucked hard into the mattress; he always mewls and moans at all the little names Kevin calls him--pet, slut, whore; and he doesn’t mind a little bite here and hair pull there. Steven takes it all, happy to do so, all while calling out Kevin’s name and holding onto him as if Kevin is the only thing that Steven can depend on. And Kevin enjoys every second of it. 

“Oh baby~such a good little whore~” The grip on Steven’s thighs tightens and each thrust starts to become deeper, harder, faster. Steven moans and yells out with each one, shining brighter and brighter. Below them, the bed squeaks out a melody, keeping time to the pair’s movements. 

The more and more Kevin moves in and out of Steven, the more and more Steven looks like he is in complete bliss. The glow from Steven’s body expands outward, engulfing the bed in a bubblegum pink hue. Kevin knows where this is going: the bed is going to levitate. The familiar feeling of satisfaction grows in his chest. 

Another hard thrust, and then two, and on three Kevin gets an astonishing response from Steven: he squeals and his whole body quivers; pink eyes roll up, crossing almost, and Steven sticks out his tongue, causing a line of drool to form at the corner of his mouth.

Kevin slows down.

From here, Steven looks exactly like…

He can’t believe it. He fucked Steven so hard that he made _that_ face. Never has that happened before with anyone! Kevin bites his lip, trying to hold in his snicker because _what the actual hell?_ He continues to thrust and Steven continues to make that face and Kevin just can’t! He breaks, laughing, and it’s so much that Steven snaps out of his horny state to frown.

“What’s so funny?” 

“Oh, shit, Steven--!” Kevin tries to speak in coherent sentences, but he _can’t._ Overcome with laughter, Kevin releases Steven’s thighs.

“Wh-what is it?” Steven asks. He props himself up by his elbows. The pink glow from the bed diminishes and so does Steven’s body, which returns to its usual color.

Kevin takes a couple of breaths, trying to calm down. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry--” but one look at Steven and the image from earlier pops right back up in Kevin’s head. “Oh, fuck!”

He pulls out of Steven, snorting now. Flopping to the side, Kevin laughs hysterically, holding his hands to his stomach and rolling.

Through tears, he can make out Steven’s pout. (Which is adorable and makes Kevin’s laughing fit even worse.)

“If you're not going to tell me then I’m leaving,” Steven says and as if to prove his seriousness, he raises up and swings his legs over the bed.

Quickly composing himself, Kevin pulls Steven back onto the bed by his waist.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to stop,” Kevin says. He takes Steven’s hand and uses his thumb, starting rubbing it back and forth, knowing that single action will pacify Steven long enough to listen. “It’s just that you kind of made an ahegao face.”

Steven blinks. “A what?”

“An ahegao face, you know. What you did early,” Kevin elaborates a bit more. “It’s the thing you see in hentai. Usually the girls make them.”

“Uh, hen-tai?”

No way. No fucking way. For how slutty and kinky Steven gets, he has not the slightest clue what an ahegao face is? Just how sheltered is he?

Kevin presses his index fingers together and puts them to his lips. He then takes a deep breath.

“Steven. Have you--do you even know what porn is?”

Steven looks back almost as if the question offended him. “Uh, what? Ugh, Kevin, I know what porn is!” His eyes then leave Kevin’s for the bed sheets. “I watch it. Sometimes...”

“Wait! Really?”

“Yes…”

“So wait, you know what porn is but not hentai nor an ahegao face?” Kevin is curious to hear how the hell such an enigma happened. 

Steven’s gaze flickers up to Kevin, meek-like. “I don’t know. Maybe I'm not a big perv like you?”

Kevin is taken aback by that comment. Him? A perv? Is Steven being serious? “So I’m the pervert yet just a few seconds ago you were begging me to fuck you?”

“What? I-- just sh-shut up!”

It’s always so amusing for Kevin to see Steven flushed.

“Anyways, you never answered my question,” Steven presses once more. “What exactly is an ahegao face? Is it a good thing or what?”

“Ehhh, it’s best if I show you,” Kevin answers back. He reaches for his phone from the nightstand and types in ‘ahegao face’ into Boogle Images. When the results appear, he passes the phone to Steven.

Kevin watches each of Steven’s changing facial expressions : first, confusion with his eyebrows scrunch down, which then shifts into curiosity with one brow raised, and he stays like that for a second or two until (Kevin’s favorite face) realization kicks in with both brows shooting up and Steven’s cheeks turning crimson.

Kevin doesn’t react fast enough to block Steven’s punch to the arm. 

“I did not look like that!” Steven exclaims. He abruptly gets up and starts to get dressed.

“Ouch! Haha, Steven, wait!” Kevin is back to his laughing fit. “Stevennnn! Please don’t leave.”

“Nope. I’m going. You're such an asshole!” Steven says, putting on his jacket. “Bye, Kevin!”

“No no no! Please!” Kevin pleads, crawling to the end of the bed. He grabs Steven’s arm and pulls him back onto the bed. “Don’t go! I have major blue balls!”

“Jerk off, then! Bye, Kevin!” Steven snaps, putting stress on Kevin’s name. He tries to get up, but Kevin stops Steven by hugging him from behind.

“Don’t go, please! I’m sorry. If anything, I think your ahegao face is cute!”

Kevin can’t see Steven’s face, but he knows Steven probably rolled his eyes at that comment.

The hardness of Kevin’s sack is starting to grow unbearable. He really wasn’t lying when he said he had blue balls. True, it was a bit of an exaggeration; Kevin could let Steven go and then jerk off later, but the standards. Number 1. Kevin has to cum. And Steven is still here so...

This wouldn’t be the first time Kevin had to coax someone into staying for a while. Throughout his years, he developed somewhat of a tactic to getting and keeping a good fuck. It’s even more so an art form, if Kevin wants to get specific about it.

Regardless, Kevin works his magic; he tugs Steven’s shirt collar aside and kisses his shoulder.

“Kevin,” Steven breathes out, leaning into his touch.

“Don’t go,” Kevin whispers. He kisses Steven’s neck, going upwards, stopping at Steven’s ear. Meanwhile, his hand travels underneath Steven’s shirt. “Please.” And with that Kevin takes full advantage of Steven’s sensitivity by licking the shell of his earlobe. Steven whimpers.

Now, Kevin’s got him: hook, line, and sinker.

“Fine. I guess I could stay.” Steven turns to look at Kevin. “Just a few more minutes and on one condition.”

Kevin cocks an eyebrow. “And what’s that?”

“Promise me you won’t ever compare me to an ahegao face again.”

“I promise.” And Kevin means it. 

He just won’t be saying it out loud next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, I imagine Steven as a sub.
> 
> Up Next: IV. Weed Pt.1  
> Or Steven tries some weed and rambling ensues.


	4. IV. Weed Pt. 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steven’s POV: Steven tries some weed. Rambling ensues
> 
> Oh my god, this chapter is 31 pagesssss!  
> Also warning: I never did weed in my life so despite my research I probably got some stuff wrong.  
> Edit (11/24): I edited for a continuity mistake for the next chapter; lol I'm so dumb🤦🏿. Greg is now working from home

It’s one of those days at Kevin’s. No sex. No kissing. No touching. Just watching TV.

As per usual, everyone was too busy to hang out with Steven. The Gems had classes, Connie with college prep, and his dad with being a manager—a remote one this time, but still drowning in work regardless. Steven had no desire to be alone a whole afternoon, watching reruns of his childhood cartoons, so that led him to here, sitting on the far end of Kevin’s couch with legs folded up to his chest and eyes glued to the movie (that Kevin picked, eyeroll) on the TV.

“Hey, have you ever tried weed before?”

Steven turns to Kevin, perplexed by such a forward question. “Weed?”

“Yeah,” Kevin says, finally looking at Steven. “Have you ever tried it?”

A hard ‘no’ is about to fall out of Steven’s mouth until he reminds something. Back on Homeworld, back when he used to have weekly visits with the Diamonds (a thing which his father had loved to joke about being like ‘child custody visits’), Steven had spent some time in Blue’s chamber. She was always excited to see Steven, but on a particular day she was bustling with joy, telling Steven that she had discovered a new power. With a puff and a wave of her hand, a blue cloud was formed and when Steven hopped on it, he felt absolutely euphoric!

Happiness replaced sorrow, relaxation replaced stress, and laughter replaced, well, everything. And doesn’t weed have the same effect: replace the good with the bad, make people so giddy and calm that all tension goes away? So in a (gem) way, Steven has tried weed before.

“Sort of?” Steven answers back.

“You have?” Kevin sits up on the couch, looking at Steven with curiosity. “Or did you try something else?”

“Something else? It was gem related,” Steven admits (and a spark of annoyance flares in his chest; he wishes it was human-related.) “Blue Diamond, she can make clouds and they kind of make you happy? Well, they make gems happy. I’ve tried it once; it felt...nice.”

“Ah, so like weed for gems?”

“Yeah, kind of, I guess.” Steven (really) does not want to talk about gem stuff, so he decides to focus on another area of the conversation. “So, not to be mean, but why are you asking me about weed?”

“Well…” Kevin’s eyes go from Steven back to the TV and his face changes into something much more gentle. Steven just waits because from that look he knows Kevin is about to say something really important. Seconds pass before Kevin meets Steven’s eyes again. “I thought that if you had a hit, it might help you feel...less stressed out.”

The words came out so delicate and slow; the tone being something all too familiar to Steven. It’s the same tone the gems use when asking about his “turning pink issue” or when his father asks him about his day, though Steven knows his dad isn’t asking because he’s curious, he is asking for reassurance that Steven is okay—

Oh.

Oh no. 

“Kevin, I’m fine!” Steven assures quickly because he is fine, and he doesn’t need drugs, and he doesn’t need Kevin to treat him like he’s some fragile thing waiting to snap.

“Okay, okay, just hear me out, though!” Kevin says, holding out his hand. “Aren’t you just a little bit curious how human weed feels like? Just a bit? You remember Derrick from that party I invited you to that one time?”

How can Steven forget about Kevin’s party? For one he was trying to make up with Connie at the time, and second it was one of the rare moments in his life where he got to hang out with people his own age, like any other normal teenager. The party was actually fun and after a while Kevin was even nice to him (though a few minor jerk tendencies popped out), introducing Steven to a couple of his friends, including Derrick, who Steven remembers as very talkative and strangely attracted to the pool.

“Yeah. I do,” Steven says.

“Okay, you remember how he gave you that piggyback ride?” Kevin then smiles. “And how he told you so many jokes that juice came out your nose?”

Steven groans. He remembers that too. “Don’t remind me of the juice.”

Kevin does a light laugh. “Don’t worry. It was cringey. Very cringey. But you being adorable saved you. Anyway, dude was super high at the time and he was having the time of his life. Imagine feeling like him for a few hours.”

The offer is tempting, but Steven isn’t completely convinced. “I don’t know…”

“Would it help to say that I’ve tried it before?”

“Wow, that’s _such_ a surprise!” Steven playfully rolls his eyes. “Kev, are you trying to to peer pressure me?”

“What? No, Steven. What do you think this is? An afterschool special?” Kevin teases with a faint smile (a smile Steven hates to find nice the more he sees it).

“No, I just know you can be pushy.”

“Since when have I ever been pushy?”

“Since we first met,” Steven points out, “remember, Stevonnie? Doesn’t that ring a bell?”

Kevin smacks his lips; his ears turn red. “What—I just? Ugh! Steven, I just want to see if you wanted a hit. How is that pushy? You know what, nevermind!” He suddenly gets up. “Since you’re being such a baby, I’ll stop.” He disappears down the hall, leaving Steven on the couch.

“I am not a baby,” Steven mutters. He is so far from being one. He was—no, is a gem warrior for crying out loud. He saved the Earth twice; survived being punched, kicked, and kidnapped; being lost in space; getting his gem ripped out of his body (he doesn’t like to think about how he almost died for too long); poisoned and he ran a school, all in that order. 

A baby would be someone who wouldn’t handle the stuff Steven has been through. A baby would have broken down, given up. Wouldn’t be able to be so selfless and self-sacrificing for everyone else’s benefit.

Steven is none of those things. 

Kevin returns from his bedroom, holding a ziplock bag. He flops down on the couch and groans dramatically, interrupting Steven’s sulking. Steven eyes Kevin curiously as he takes the cannabis out, crushes it with his thumb, and pours it into a thin, short paper. Bring the paper to his lips, Kevin licks it then rolls it up, finishing off by twisting the end.

Steven loses up on hugging his knees, now fully paying attention to what Kevin is doing. Kevin pulls a lighter from his pocket, and brings the joint to his lips, lighting it. He inhales shortly before pulling the roll out with a puff of smoke following.

“Last chance, and I swear I won’t ask again, do you want a hit?” Kevin asks, holding the smoking joint out to Steven.

Steven shouldn’t. He is not a baby and he doesn’t have to prove that to Kevin, but...hasn’t everyone tried something like this before? Once when Steven was younger, he arrived early for a jam session at Sour Cream’s house and caught the Cool Kids smoking through a long pipe (something which Steven learned after a Boogle search was called a bong). They freaked out, begging Steven not to tell which he didn’t mostly due to confusion at what exactly they were doing. He did ask them why they do something that would obviously get them in trouble.

“Because, were teeangers,” Sour Cream said at the time, eyes bloodshot red. “It’s what we do. Taking risks makes for good memories.”

The rest of the Cool Kids nodded and made sounds of agreement. Jenny spoke next. “Yeah, Steven don’t you ever want to cut loose sometimes? Do something you're not supposed to?”

It didn’t make much sense to Steven at the time. Yes, he was a teenager and yes, he wanted to cut loose, but that usually never worked out. Case in point when Steven crashed his dad’s car. During the tow back, his dad talked about doing weed as well (along with coke, LSD, and many depositors Steven did not want to hear) with his old music manager. They would roll up a joint after each show and relax. At the time (and even now), it irritated Steven how “relatable” his dad was trying to be yet his dad was just experimenting just like the Cool Kids, just like any other person. Doesn’t Steven deserve a chance to experiment too?

He missed out on so many things growing up: family dinners, dances, parties, prom, high school graduation. All of that was replaced with diplomatic meetings, dismantling colonies, being nice 24/7, being civil 24/7, always being on. Steven deserves to get messy; he earned it. There is no one here that could stop him: not his dad nor the Gems. Besides, what right did they have in judging him? He’s eighteen, a legal adult, and he can do whatever he wants (within reason).

“Sure, why not.” Steven takes the joint from Kevin and inspects it.

“Tap it.”

“Huh?”

“Tap it,” Kevin repeats himself. “Tap it before you take a hit.”

Steven taps the blunt causing ash to fall on the carpet. Kevin makes a noise of displease. “I meant tap it over the tab—it doesn’t matter. Just take a hit and try not to inhale so much since this is your first time.”

“Don’t inhale too much, right.” Steven puts the joint to his lips. He’s seen people on TV smoke cigarettes before. Weed shouldn’t be so different. Steven inhales deeply. The burning sensation of smoke swelling in his throat. His lungs sting. He pulls the joint out and tries to breath out, but the fiery itch grows greater. Steven ends up hacking.

He hears Kevin laughing wildly like the jerk he is. Steven opens his mouth wanting to tell Kevin to shut up, but what comes out is another dry cough. The couch creaks and suddenly Steven feels Kevin next to him, lightly hitting his back.

“I told you not to inhale so much, shit!” The hits turn into soothing rubs. Kevin takes the joint out of Steven’s hand and taps it, before inhaling it. He blows out smoke away from Steven and gets up, heading to the kitchen

Steven continues to cough, holding on to his chest. Smoking weed is definitely not like floating on Blue’s cloud.

When Kevin appears again, he places a cup of water in Steven’s hand. “Drink this. It’ll make you feel better.”

Steven immediately gulps down the water. The burn in his throat calms down to a low tingle. He gasps when he’s down, slamming down the cup on the coffee table.

“Hey, you okay?” Kevin asks. His hand is once again on Steven’s back, rubbing in small circles. 

Steven nods; he gathers up saliva in his mouth, willing it to heal him, and swallows. The small burn in his throat vanishes, allowing him to talk again. “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting all that smoke and the burn.”

“It’s why I told you not to inhale too much,” Kevin says, holding the joint up close to his lips. “Just closely watch me do this next one, okay.”

Steven observes Kevin take his next drag: how he puts the roll to his mouth, inhales slowly, then pulls out allowing a steady stream of smoke to escape past his lips. Kevin hands him the joint and Steven takes it, fingers quivering.

“Don’t be scared. Just take it slow and don’t inhale too much,” Kevin advises. “When you exhale, just go with the flow. Let the smoke come out naturally; don’t force it.”

“O-okay,” Steven whispers. He puts the joint to his lips, and inhales, this time a bit more slow and short. The feeling of smoke filling his throat and lungs is back yet it is not as strong as last time. Steven takes the roll out his mouth, and tries to emulate what Kevin did earlier; rather than pushing out the smoke, he lets it fall naturally, almost guiding it out in a way.

“That’s it! You got it!” Kevin smiles, laying back into the couch and props his leg on the coffee table. “Wait a few seconds, and try again.”

Steven does as he’s told. He waits for a while before trying again and handing the weed back to Kevin, who takes his own hit. Steven doesn’t feel any different from when he wasn’t smoking. Wasn’t weed supposed to get people high? Blue’s cloud hit him like an instant. Meanwhile the weed had no effect. Was it because Steven was half-gem? Maybe gems couldn’t get high from weed like humans could. Steven’s heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach.

“Kevin?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m not—I don’t feel anything. Maybe it’s because I’m a gem? Should I take another hit?”

Kevin shakes his head. “Nah, just give it a moment.” He takes on last, short hit and smashes the joint on the ziplock bag. “You’ll feel something soon, I promise. Just chill and watch TV with me.”

Steven is skeptical, but he doesn’t argue with Kevin. He curls up, hugging himself again, and goes back to watching whatever was on the TV.

A minute passes.

Then, two.

At five minutes, the TV starts to change. The colors get brighter, more bold, and Steven swears he can see every individual particle that makes up the screen. He blinks, thinking his powers are acting up, but no change. Entranced, he watches the woman’s sweater on-screen: how each individual thread moves, the fluffy fibers which contrast this way and that, and how bold the color yellow truly is.

The sweater is so wonderful! The more Steven looks at it, the more he wants to reach into the screen, take it, and wear it himself. It’s as if the woman has no idea how amazing her sweater is.

Steven giggles. “I want that sweater.”

“Me too,” Kevin agrees; his voice is slurred. “Hey, have you ever noticed how big your hands are?”

“What?”

“Your hands. They're like yaoi hands; they’re huge!”

Steven holds up one of his hands, and is surprised to see that Kevin is right! His hand is enormous! It’s almost the size of his head. When did they get so big? Steven holds up his other hand, and together, gawks at how his hands open and close. The feeling of his joints contracting and expanding so easily despite the large size is quite funny, so funny that Steven snickers.

“Ha, they are big!” Steven stops to wiggle his fingers. “So big. So big. Big, B-i-g. That’s such a funny word.” A giggle. “Why, is that so funny? Big, big, big!”

“Big hands, big dick, big balls,” Kevin mutters then laughs. 

Steven laughs too. He looks over to Kevin. “Why did you say that?”

“ ‘Cause it sounds funny!” Kevin exclaims, eyes wide. “Ohhh, do you think you can make a song about it? You like to sing! Isn’t that a gem thing? You sing so well, like an angel.”

“An angel?”

“Yeahhhh. Aren’t gems angels? They come from the sky, don’t they and that’s where heaven is: the sky.”

“Wh-what? Haha, that’s not—” Now that Steven thinks about it, what exactly are gems? As a child, he thought of gems as magical space beings up until Pearl said they weren’t. Humans, she said, preserved gems and gems technology as magical simply because the understanding of something so technical went beyond their comprehension; gems were just holograms with mass. 

But what does that even mean though? Yes, the projection came from their gemstones, but how does that work? Through an actual projector, nanobots, magic? Or was Kevin on to something? Because, gems did come from the sky (sort of) just like angels. And some people interpret the sky as the heavens. And gems sing just like angels do and gems have powers like angels, so then…

“Kev, I think you're right! Gems _are_ like angels!”

“Told you. Oh, man, does that mean I’ve been having sex with an angel this whole time?”

“...Kevin, are you high?”

A laugh is Kevin’s answer. Steven joins in with his laugh being just as giddy and light. With Steven’s body feeling so relaxed and any worry gone, he turns bold, moving closer to rest his head on Kevin’s shoulder. Kevin doesn’t move, and Steven takes it as a good sign.

The material of Kevin’s T-shirt is so soft and smells so nice that Steven buries his nose into the collar, trying to catch more of the feeling. He sniffs. Flowers. Steven sniffs again and changes his mind. The scent isn’t that; it’s more like the smell of chamomile tea, the kind Pearl likes to make.

The smell then brings forward a puzzling thought: why does Pearl make tea if she never drinks it? No, wait; Steven is wrong again because a fuzzy memory plays in his head of Pearl sipping tea by the heater while his dad tells him a story. The more Steven thinks about it, the more he finds it strange. If Pearl hates eating, partly due to the whole fake shattering deal, and partly due to food coming out as mush—poop, then why is she not disgusted by her drink coming out as pee? Does Pearl pee? It occurs to Steven that he never did see any of the gems use the bathroom after eating. In that case, where does their waste go then?

“You've been sniffing my shirt for the past five minutes,” Kevin points out, chuckling. “Bro, are you ok?”

“I never saw any of the Gems use the bathroom…”

Kevin laughs once again, high and loud, and Steven feels it almost pulsing throughout his own body. Once Kevin finishes, his hand squeezes Steven’s shoulder.

“Okay, I think you're high.”

“Nah, I’m not high.” Steven sniffs Kevin’s shirt. “Your shirt smells like tea.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Hmm, Pearl makes tea.”

“Yeah?”

“She drinks it sometimes, I think.”

“Really?”

“I never see her use the bathroom after. I-I never seen any of the Gems use the bathroom.”

“Yes, Steven. You told me that before.”

“I did.” Steven sniffs Kevin’s shirt and giggles. “Your shirt smells like tea…”

* * *

It’s been ten minutes or maybe fifteen. An hour? Steven isn’t sure. The minutes and seconds had started to bleed into themselves, making the passage of time so confusing: long yet short; quick yet slow; permanent yet fleeing.Steven can’t put it into words. Was time chaotic or messy? Useless? Inconsequential?

Inconsequential, what a big word. Connie would be so proud of Steven for remembering that.

Speaking of Connie, Steven hasn’t talked to her since the whole doctor visit situation. He really does miss her and wants things to go back to normal between them, not be awkward and so messy. But, everytime he picks up the phone and texts her, Steven chickens out, hitting backspace and turning his phone over. He wonders if Connie has the same dillmna of texting him or if she’s actually more better off; she doesn’t have to deal with his mood swings, probably having more time to focus on school, something way more important. What would she even think of Steven now, all spread on the couch, grossly encaptivated by the woman’s lipstick on TV.

“I wonder what Connie is doing,” Steven says out loud. His eyes don’t leave the screen. “What movie is this by the way?”

“I think this is Mean Girls,” Kevin says, slowly. “The second one.”

“Ugh! This one sucks ass.” Steven reaches for the remote on the coffee table, but Kevin grabs his hand, stopping him.

“No, wait. It’s kinda funny…” There is a long, drawn out pause from Kevin before he comments once more.

“The framing of this movie is soo weird. Like the first message is about how Cathy, Regina, even Janis are all mean girls. They all uplift each other by putting other girls down and that’s bad, but this trash does the opposite. Now, what’s-her-face is the protagonist solely because she’s a badass, and masculine, and ‘not like other girls’, which is fine, and all, but it really goes against the first movie’s message. Not to mention the fashion in this is, like, atrocious. Anyway, what about Connie?”

Steven looks at Kevin, astonished. “Whoa, Kev! That’s like the smartest thing I ever heard you say.”

“Ehhh, I like took a feminist film class.”

“Oh, wow! How was—”

“I dropped it after a month. Turns out you had to write a lot of essays and it was hard to get a hookup.”

Steven cracks a smile; that sounds a lot more like Kevin.

“Anyways, what about Connie?” Kevin asks, meeting Steven’s eyes. He lets go of Steven’s hand. “Why are you thinking about her?”

Steven fidgets in his seat. “I don’t know...just thinking.”

“Abou that proposal thing. Yeah, you must’ve freaked her out.”

The deadpanned tone does not match the goofy grin on Kevin’s face. Normally, Steven would be annoyed at how apathetic Kevin is being. However, Steven finds the tonal contrast to Kevin’s actual expression silly. Steven snickers. “I probably did. Thanks for reminding me, Kevin.”

“To be fair, was it really your idea? Wasn’t it….Glinda’s.”

 _Glinda_? It takes Steven a second or two to figure out Kevin means Garnet. Steven snickers, then giggles, and then cracks up, unable to barely breath because how in the hell did Kevin get Glinda from Garnet. The two names are not even similar.

“Wh-what, holy hahah, the fuck—” Steven wheezes, throwing back his head. He needs to stop. The slip up is not that funny. At the most, it’s amusing. Maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s because this is the first time in a long time Steven has laughed this hard; it takes him a tremendous amount of effort to calm down.

“You mean Garnet?” Steven croaks out.

Kevin narrows his eyes and rubs his chin while looking off in the distance. The image makes Steven want to bust out laughing, but this time he bites down on his tongue.

Kevin stays like that for a moment, off somewhere, until he comes back to reality and laughs. “Yeah, Garnet. I don’t know where I got Glinda from.”

“Glinda is an old person’s name…” Steven trails off, grinning.

“Yeah, like Glinda from Glinda and Hansel.”

“No, Kevin. It’s _Gretal_ and Hansel. Not, Glinda.”

“Wait, then where’s Glinda from?”

“You might have been thinking of Glinda from the Wizard of Oz?”

“Who is she?”

“The Good Witch.”

“Oh, yeah! Her!” Kevin then snuffles and runs a hand through his hair. “My hair is incredibly soft. Wanna feel?”

“Ha, sure.” Steven places a hand on top of Kevin’s hair. Taking a lock, he rolls it between his fingers, noting how silky and smooth the texture is. “It feels nice. Like a feather. Wait, weren’t we talking about Garnet?

“The rock?”

“No, Kevin. The person.”

“Ohhhhhh, yeah we were,” Kevin giggles. “Yeah, yeah, didn’t she tell you to propose to your girlfriend?”

Steven nods, still a bit occupied with Kevin’s hair. “Yeah...wait no. Ruby and Sapphire did.”

“Ruby and Sapphire?” Kevin interrupts loudly, almost yelling. “Who the fuck are they?”

Right. Steven sometimes forgets that Kevin doesn’t fully listen to all of his rants particularly close nor does he know every single gem by name like Connie.

“Okay, so how can I explain…” Steven hums, briefly sorting out his thoughts, before launching into an explanation. “Okay, so, Garnet is a fusion like Stevonnie. Ruby and Sapphire are just two individual gems that when fused become Garnet.”

“Wait, I’m sorry! Whose Garnet again? Is she the thick one or the purple one?”

“Uh, the thick one?” Steven chuckles. “That’s a bit weird to refer to her as that.”

“It’s not weird! It’s a fact, ” Kevin answers back with a wave of his hand. “Also, I have a question! Why did Garnet split up in the first place?”

“Because they teach two different classes, so they have to unfuse for a while,” Steven replies, pauses, then without really thinking, adds on. “Well, Garnet has split up before. Like this one time—”

“Okay, hold on. Why don’t you and Connie stay fused together forever like they do again?”

“Oh, I’ll get to that—”

“And another question! So like, not to be weird, but is fusion, like, sex for gems orrrr?”

“Kevin!” Steven can not believe he said that.

“What? I mean, it’s a question! I wanna get to know you. Also, so like Stevonnie do they use the bathroom? How does that work? Oh, and how old are you guys ‘cause y’all looked like a teenager when I met you. Talk about jailbait. Also, if you guys fuse together do you stop aging or what? What’s the life expectancy for that? Another thing if—”

Steven moves his hand from Kevin’s hair to his mouth. The amount of questions coming out of Kevin is like an excitable toddler on a sugar rush. “Let me finish for star’s sake and I’ll tell you!” He laughs and removes his hand, placing it back on top of Kevin's head.

“Okay, okay I’ll shut up,” Kevin says and does a zipper like motion over his lips.

Steven titters before continuing. “Garnet has split up before. There was this one time when she got destabilized and poofed. That gave me nightmares! Another time was when Pearl tricked her into fusing. Ruby and Sapphire didn't agree on how that was handled.” He grimaces at the memory. “It was a weird vacation…”

“Anyways, the last time she split it was because of my mom fucking shit up,” Steven lightly scoffs at the end of his comment. He brightens up on the next. “But, it’s okay because Ruby and Sapphire got married right after! They were so happy! They’re always happy as Garnet! I just thought…”

Usually at this stage, there would be a lump in Steven’s throat. Tears would fall. The gravity of his words would sink in and he would have to abandon the conversation altogether in order to avoid becoming pink. That was usually. However, now the words flow out of Steven with ease and his skin isn’t hot. Giggling, he keeps going. “Hahaha, I thought maybe if—hahaa! Maybe if I married Connie, fused with her forever...Stars, I thought I would feel less alone, feel better, be better. Man, I was sooo stupid!”

Kevin nods. His smile drops slightly. A small crease forms in between his eyebrows. “So, Ruby and Sapphire told you to marry Connie?”

Steven withdraws his hand from Kevin’s hair. “Yep.”

“And Ruby and Sapphire make up Garnet?”

“Yes… ” Another giggle comes out of Steven. “Garnet told me I shouldn’t have listened to them. Are you confused?”

Kevin shakes his head. “No. Just making sure.”

“Hahaha, well she was right, Their advice was fucking stupid…”

“It was.”

“What?” Steven is taken back by Kevin’s bluntness.

Kevin snickers into his hand and closes his eyes. Not fully understanding what’s going on, Steven patiently waits for Kevin to speak.

“So, let me get this straight,” Kevin says, taking his leg off the coffee table and turning his full body towards Steven. “Ruby and Sapphire are Garnet and Garnet is Ruby and Sapphire. So, two people, who make up one entity, come up with the _same_ conclusion to tell an 18 year old boy to marry a 17 year old girl. Okay so, then how does she turn around and tell you that you shouldn’t have listened to them, when they make up her?”

“Um…” 

“So, Garnet gave you that shitty advice?” It doesn’t sound like a question Kevin has; it’s more like he wants conformation. 

“What, no!” A grin is back on Steven’s face. Kevin is confused. He must be because it’s the only logical thing that makes sense to Steven. “No, no. Kevin, Ruby and Sapphire, they aren't Garnet.”

“But, they make up Garnet,” Kevin counters. “Ruby and Sapphire are simply two halves which make up one being. Steven, regardless, she gave you terrible advice and didn’t own up to it.”

Kevin’s next chuckle is light yet has a pointed undertone. “But if she’s fused all the time and only unfuses whenever Ruby and Sapphire fight...then they got married. Oh, haha, this is really fucked up! I totally get why you listened to them.”

Steven shakes his head once more. No, Kevin doesn’t get it. Ruby and Sapphire were just trying to help in their own quirky, individual, gem-like way. He doesn’t blame them nor Garnet for not getting human nuances. If he was being fair, it’s him who should have slowed down and thought about his actions a bit more.

And Ruby and Sapphire are two different gems; they’re completely separate from Garnet. Sapphire is calm and collected, extremely observant, and poised. Predictability is something she enjoys; it is after all her talent. Ruby is the opposite. She’s more rash, hot-headed, and spontaneous. Ruby loves unpredictability; she thrives off of it. They’re so different and somehow they complement each other. Garnet is simply the personification of their relationship. Kevin is the one that’s wrong; he’s fully human after all and not a gem like Steven.

“Nahhh, Ruby and Sapphire, they make up Garnet, but separated they aren’t Garnet,” Steven replies, trying to get Kevin to understand. “Fusion, it’s well, ha, maybe it’s a bit complicated because your fully human, and you never fused—”

“Wow, elitist much? Guess I’m a stupid, little human.” It’s clearly a joke from the way Kevin’s smile begins to grow, but Steven can not help to re-evaluate how pretentious he sounded earlier. 

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that! I’m sorry for sounding like such a prick!” Steven clarifies profusely and sighs. “Fusion usually happens between gems and for gems they are more likely to, uh, understand?”

Okay, Steven is not getting anywhere close to making sense.

“Go on. Explain, I can keep up,” Kevin says, crossing his leg over another, and leans closer to Steven.

“Alright.” Steven takes a breath. Something about the way Kevin’s eyes sparkle with such interest makes Steven so fluttery inside, so he turns away, hoping that will make him focus more.

“Okay, fusion, right. So, an example: Stevonnie. Their an experience. A literal representation of a relationship. Gosh, it’s...” Steven sucks on his lip and threads a hand though his curls. For the life of him, he can’t put into words what exactly fusion is like.

“So, is Stevonnie or fusion or whatever is it like sex for gems?” Kevin offers up.

Steven’s wide eyes go to Kevin and he shakes his head, laughing at how determined Kevin is to keep comparing it to that. “No, no! That’s not it. Fusion is intimate yes, but it’s definitely not sex!”

“Then, what is it like to be or I guess, form Stevonnie?” Kevin tries again. He smiles softly, dopey-like, and Steven decides right at this moment that the face Kevin makes is one of his favorites.

Words tumble out of Steven. “You have a pretty smile.”

“I know. I’m handsome, you can say it.” Kevin’s smile turns coy.

“Ugh, nevermind. I take it back.” Steven rolls his eyes. He’s both happy and sad Kevin doesn’t take what he said too seriously. He gets back on track. “Anyways, fusion, for me or when I fuse with Connie to make Stevonnie, it’s, it’s like…”

Steven closes his eyes. “It’s like becoming a completely different person. Connie and I are a whole new person. All my thoughts are hers and her thoughts are mine, but at the same time there aren't. I’m me, but not and Connie is herself, but not. Stevonnie is just one thing all on their own, having their own identity, and powers, and even their own name. Just like Garnet or any other fusion, their someone else, independent from me or Connie.”

Kevin does a slow nod. “I think I get it now. A fusion is like a child.”

Steven opens his eyes to stare at Kevin. “What? What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, so hear me out. I took a class in this exact thing!” Kevin says that with such confidence that Steven has to cover his mouth so he doesn’t burst Kevin’s bubble by laughing.

“Alright, so a child is formed from two people. Half the DNA comes from one parent and the other half comes from another.” Kevin holds up a finger from both hands. “Like a fusion which is made up of two halves.” He brings the fingers together, beaming as he does. 

“A child gets their ideas, thoughts, and beliefs, all that junk that makes them, them from their parents. Overtime, as they grow up they form their own identity and stuff, but they still have some parts of their identity rooted in their upbringing. Therefore, they’re made up from their parents, have parts of them too, but aren’t them, just like a fusion,” Kevin proudly concludes. 

What the—?

Steven uncovers his mouth. “Kev. Kevin. Are you… are you trying to tell me that Garnet is a child?”

Kevin nods, slowly. “Yes...I guess you can say that you technically get your advice from a child.”

Steven breaks. He laughs so hard that he doubles over and falls, rolling on the floor.

* * *

“Thirty-two. Are you hungry? Oh, we should make mac and cheese! Wait, can—”

“Yesss, Kevin! Vegetarians can eat cheese! It’s vegans that can’t and we’re on fourty!”

Kevin turns to Steven and laughs. After Steven’s fit, Kevin had ended up joining Steven on the floor. Together, they spend their time laying next to each other, counting (and starting over on counting) the dots that make up the ceiling, only interrupting when one of them has a silly question to ask. So far Steven has learned that Kevin thinks the world might be a simulation, that a taco is just a sandwich but just sideways, and that he can “read minds” (aka he just ended up repeating every thing Steven has said; it almost fooled Steven until he realized it himself).

“Fine, forty. And I know! Something about it being an animal byproduct,” Kevin finishes for Steven. “But since we're on this topic, I have to ask: if a vegetarian and a vegan get into a fight then is it still called beef?”

Steven, baffled, looks over to Kevin. “What the fuck kind of question is that?”

Kevin shrugs. “A question. Or is the beef called leaf now?”

“Stop being so silly!” Steven says, giggling and bops Kevin’s nose for reasons unknown. Kevin smiles in response and gets up from the floor. “You’re such an asshole.”

Am not!” Steven stretches out a hand towards Kevin and whines. “Help me up, pretty please!”

Kevin slaps Steven’s hand away and laughs gleefully all the way to the kitchen. So immature and he calls Steven the asshole. Steven groans as he gets up. Not wanting to walk, he hovers a few inches and floats over to the kitchen.

“Are you fucking flying?” Kevin exclaims with a squeal.

“Yes, Kevin. I can fly, remember.” Steven floats near him and drops to the ground. Kevin still looks at him, astonished, and Steven can’t help to find that so adorable.

“More proof that you're an angel.” Kevin chortles. “I’m fucking an angel. That’s so weird!”

The abstract compliment makes Steven’s cheeks warm. They already established that, but something about hearing Kevin say Steven is an angel making Steven all excited and happy. Other than the Gems and Connie, no ones really complimented him too much.

“Okay, let’s get a pot and a spoon!” Kevin’s hurried voice brings Steven back to reality. He watches Kevin pull out the cookware needed to make the meal. Opening a cupboard, Kevin suddenly starts to sing. _“Mac and Cheese, mac and cheese, boy do I love mac and cheese!”_

“Kevin, what! Did you just sing?

Kevin stops moving. “No, I did not.”

“Nooo, you so were!” Steven smiles, walking closer to Kevin.

“Shut it!” With reddened cheeks, Kevin moves again, focusing hard on pouring the noodles into the pot.

“You did sing, I heard it!”

“I said shut up, Steven!” Kevin begs, beginning to fill up the pot with water. “It was an accident. Can we please move on!”

“Why? Don’t be embarrassed,” Steven says, leaning his elbows on the counter, and cushioning his face on his hands. “I sing all the time.”

“Yeah, I noticed.”

“Then you wouldn’t have a problem singing around me.”

Kevin does a bouncy, airy laugh, moving the full pot onto the stove. “Your voice is beautiful. Mine’s sounds like a dying whale.” He cuts on the stove, eyes fixed onto the pot. “It’s just something I used to sing when I was little.”

Steven doesn’t think Kevin’s voice was that bad; Kevin was actually pretty decent, just a little off-key if anything. Not that that matters. Judging on sound alone seems pretentious to Steven. Music is all about feeling anyways which is why Steven finds it as such a good outlet—listening to music, singing, humming whether he’s mad, happy or sad, just for the moment it makes him feel good to release all that emotion and get it out in the open. More than that singing is the best way to empathize with others, to feel how they feel, to understand them better.

Like Kevin, for instance. Steven could tell the song meant a lot to him just from how happy Kevin sounded and the way his eyes shined with joyful recollection. Steven wants to hear more, see more of that Kevin. Plus, the song was super cute and cheesy.

“The song is super cute and you sound good! Sing it for me again, please?” 

“Why? So you can make fun of me? Hell no,” Kevin says that sternly but he’s not fooling Steven; there is a small ghost of a smile on his face.

“Aww c’mon! I won’t make fun of you! Ooooh! We should start a band, actually!” Steven exclaims his random idea excitedly as if he’s been thinking about it for a long time. “Pleeeeease, Kev! We can even remix the song and add more lyrics.”

“Steven, noo, stop! I’m not joining a band nor am I singing the song!”

“Well, if you won’t then I will!”

Kevin cuts his eyes to Steven. “Don’t you dare.”

“I’m goooing to do it!”

“Please Steven don't—”

_“Mac and Cheese, mac and cheese, boy do I love—”_

“Lalalala, not listening, can’t hear you!” Kevin shouts, covering his ears. “Lalalala, shut the fuck up!”

Steven giggles, takes a breath, then sings louder.

This goes on for a while, Steven singing and Kevin yelling, until the mac is done cooking.

“Okay, okay for realsies, shut up!” Kevin says. He opens the fridge, taking out milk, margarine, and a packet of shredded cheese. The items clumsy stack up in his arms. “Your voice is a chef’s kiss, but we need to eat soon. Stop and go sit at the table.”

Steven does as he’s told, but not without a comment. “Okay, dad.”

“Wow, Steven I didn’t expect you to have a daddy kink!”

“I don’t! Shut up!” Steven shrieks out. Calling Kevin ‘daddy’ in bed would be crossing a very awkward and big line.

“Just making sure,” Kevin talks as he stirs in the ingredients. “You know, I’m not into the whole ageplay thing. It’s kind of weird. Then again, I’m fucking an angel. By the way I’ve been meaning to ask, how did your dad manage to fuck your mom—”

“ _Kevin!_ ” Of all things to talk about, Kevin had to bring _that_ up? Steven doesn’t even want to imagine much less think about how his mom and dad did the deed to have him, especially when he’s about to eat.

“What? I’m just asking. Speaking of which, do gems have, you know…” Kevin turns to face Steven and without hesitation justers to his groin. “Do they have any?”

Steven covers his face. “Kevin, please!”

“But, this is important. You know, for like science! So did your mom have parts and your dad just ejaculated in there?”

“Kevin!”

“I wonder what they looked like? Were they tentacles or something or did she make like a vagina? Didn’t you show me a picture of her? She had some big, ass tits!”

“Kevin, stop objectifying my mom!”

“Damn, it’s an observation and now that we're on this topic, your mom was pretty hot! Like, she was thick! You must get that from her. Not to be mean but your dad must’ve had a great personality or a magic dick to get her to stay around—”

Steven presses his hand harder on his face. “Kevin, shut up! I mean it!”

“Okay, alright, just one more thing! I swear! But, like where do you think they did it? Like, in your dad’s van or at the car wash or—oh noooo! I know! They probably fucked in her cloud room! Probably got realllly freaky in there since anything she imagines can appear. Your mom might have been a freak. I can tell you get that from her too.”

Okay, this conversation needs to end, now. Steven uncovers his face and hollers. “Kevin! Shut. The fuck. Up! How long does it take you to make mac and cheese?”

“Oh yeah…” Kevin goes back to stirring.

A suppressed giggle or two breaks out from Steven. Kevin is really something and boy, could he ramble! The whole thing would be even more adorable if the conversation didn’t land to be about Steven’s mom. Oh yeah, Steven is definitely feeling the buzz for sure, otherwise, he would have punched Kevin right at the moment he mentioned Steven’s mom’s “big, ass tits”.

Kevin finishes up the mac and cheese, spooning it into two bowls, and placing Steven’s share in front of him. The smell wafts up to Steven’s nose; his mouth waters like he's been anticipating this moment forever. Steven can practically taste the pasta already. Taking a spoonful, Steven shoves the food into his mouth. 

Gooey cheese, soft noodles, the distant flavor of salt and warm butter; all of it delights Steven’s taste buds and slides down his throat easily. This is the best mac and cheese Steven has ever had!

“Oh my stars!” Steven shoves another mouthful, savoring the flavor. “Thi’ is so am’zing!”

Kevin swallows down his own spoonful. “I can tell. You said that thing.”

“What thing?” Steven takes another bite. “So good!”

“ ‘Stars’. It’s an adorable, little curse word you say and it’s so you.” Kevin smiles into taking his next bite.

“Yeahh, I do say that a lot,” Steven says, pondering briefly on how much he uses it, then takes another spoonful. “You’r suc’ an am’zing cook! Oh, you ‘hould be a chef!”

“You know that’s not actually a bad idea,” Kevin says, pointing and wiggling his spoon at Steven. “We can be business partners.”

“Yes and we should call our restaurant, Steven’s and Kevin’s!”

“The mac would definitely be our specialty.”

“Yeah and then we’ll be rich!” Steven shoves more mac inside his mouth. “Well, we’d be ri’her but we can donut to char’teaa!”

“Why would we donate to charity?” Kevin asks, taking another bite.

Steven swallows. “Because we don’t need all that excess money. We’re already well off.”

“Hmm, makes sense, I guess….but like, it’s our money to spend.”

“Yes, but do we really need _all_ of it?”

Kevin frowns, focusing his eyes off somewhere. The look is something Steven notices Kevin does a lot when he’s thinking something over. Kevin’s eyes go back to Steven and he does his slow nod. “Yeah, I suppose. But then again, it’s coming from you.” A slow smile stretches across on Kevin’s face, teeth showing. “You should be a little selfish, dude, sometimes.”

Selfish? “Why would I be? That sounds really, really mean,” Steven says, giggling.

“Because I think you deserve to be. You're too nice.”

Steven giggles again to his next spoonful. The sentiment was nice, but being selfish doesn’t necessarily come naturally to Steven. Sometimes he wants to be. Sometimes there’s that little thought that passes through his head whenever he’s helping someone (usually a gem) that says ‘fuck it, I don’t wanna do this’. He pushes that thought down though, in the deep regions of his brain. Nothing good would come out of that mentality; no progress would be made.

Besides, Steven doesn’t mind helping out people. It makes him feel good. The only time when it doesn’t is when he has to do it constantly, every single time, keep a smile on his face while he gets punched, kicked, screamed at (and the constant comparisons to his mom: _“Rose would never do something like that”;” “Rose could do it? Why can’t you?”; “Funny, Pink thought differently…”_ )

But, yeah, Steven doesn’t mind being nice and helpful, usually. Gulping down the delicious mac, Steven opens his mouth, ready to tell Kevin this, but stops short when he sees the goofy smile turn tiny, almost shy and sweet, and eyes looking subdue. Another favorite face from Kevin into the memory vault.

“You're wayyyy too pure for this world,” Kevin says, then his face switches back to elated foolishness. “Anyway, I’m in charge of finances and marketing then since I don’t wanna risk you giving the majority of our money away.”

Snapping out of his trance, Steven laughs quietly. “Yeahhh and why is that? Doesn’t seem fair.”

“I’m the one with the business degree, sort of.” Kevin laughs and quickly moves along before Steven could even question what the ‘sort of’ was supposed to entail. “And both of my parents own companies so I grew up around big business. They were always soooo stressed though. Talked on the phone a lot! But they were good at their jobs and I’ll be good at our restaurant. We’ll start small then move up to it becoming a franchise-type thing.”

“Okay, but what am I supposed to do?” Steven asks, scrapping the rest of the mac up, desperate to get every last bit down to the cheese sticking on the sides. “Because I have business experience too! My dad owns a car wash and I ran a restaurant before in my kitchen. You're stifling me if you just have me on the sidelines.”

“Perhaps,” Kevin says slowly. Using his finger, he gathers up cheese and sucks on it. “I guess I can have you on PR since you're good with people.”

“Haha, thanks, Kev,” Steven says and gulps down the last bit of his mac. Gone already? Damn, he finished so fast. Gathering up cheese with his finger as well, he asks another question. “So, uh, do you have any more mac and cheese?” Steven sucks on his finger, savoring the taste of creamy cheese.

To Steven’s disappointment, Kevin shakes his head. “No, sorry I cooked it all. We ate every last drop, Steven.”

“Awww.”

“Don’t be sad. Hey, do you want a cookie?”

“Is this joke?” Steven narrows his eyes, hoping that Kevin didn’t notice his little titter.

“No, it’s not a joke, Steven.” Kevin puts a hand to his heart. “Scout's honor.”

“Okay, then. Yes, I would like a cookie.”

Kevin gets up, heading to the fridge. Steven watches Kevin reach up, standing on tip-tops (which makes Steven ‘awww’ in his head), and grab a cookie jar. Once Kevin returns to the table and opens the jar, the smell of chocolate to waft up, hitting Steven’s nose. As soon as Kevin hands him a cookie, Steven inhales it within seconds.

“Steven!” Kevin exclaims, stopping short of eating his own treat. “What the actual fuck?”

“What? I’m hun’ry,” Steven answers back and reaches into the jar for another. 

Kevin eyes him up and down before shrugging and going back to eat his cookie.

The two eat in silence. Sort of. All around him Steven can hear things that he never noticed before: the loud hum of the a/c, the lighting above him buzzing in a low consistency, the occasional crack and groan from the house settling. Every little sound is amplified and Steven has no idea if it’s the weed or his powers acting crazy or maybe a matter of both. Whatever it is, the noise is kind of comforting, kind of like some natural occurrence of the ASMR Steven likes to listen to at night sometimes.

“You know, everything is like ASMR, but natural…” Steven comments, then scarfs down another cookie.

“What?” Kevin laughs, leaning back into his chair. “What the fuck are you babbling on about?”

“I said everything is ASMR but natural,” Steven says again, elaborating more. “Like the noises in the house. Can’t you hear it?”

Kevin closes his eyes. After a second or minute (Steven is not keeping track), he opens them, doing his usual silly slow nod. “Yeah, it does actually. Sounds wayyy better than people chewing in your fucking ears.”

“Ummm, Kev, what?” Steven snorts into his new cookie that he shoves into his mouth. “Why you lis’en to tha’ kind of stu’f?”

“I...I do not.” 

Steven sees that Kevin’s face tells a different story.

“You fucking do! You absolute weirdo!”

“I was curious and I couldn’t go asleep for this one night!” Kevin says quickly, taking a small bite of his cookie. “Besides, the video was fucking weird. It was about a chick eating ice and she was talking for the whole time! I could do way better.”

Steven throws on his best pleading smile. “Please, please, pretty please show me!”

“Ughh, only because you asked so nice,” Kevin agrees, then clears his throat. Leaning into the table, he begins to whisper low, so low that Steven has to lean in as well just to make out the words. “Hey guys, today, I’m going to eat this whole cookie. It’s chocolate chip. Very doughy. It’s from a local bakery in town.”

Kevin holds up his cookie. He taps on it using his fingernails and some crumbs fall. It’s entertaining and from the way Kevin moves the treat around, Steven finds himself bubbling up with laughter. 

“Anyways, instead of boring you with a fifteen minute intro of my life which is completely unrelated to a video about eating a fucking cookie, I’m just going to start,” Kevin giggles at the end of his whisper, failing at composing himself as he lifts the cookie to his lips and loses it with a guffaw. Steven joins in, covering his mouth with his hands.

“Fuck, okay!” Kevin says still quiet with a few faint laughs escaping. He lifts the cookie up again and bites down. The exaggerated way Kevin chews, fapping his mouth open and close, making wet, crunchy noises, does it for Steven. Steven laughs hysterically, and tears swell in the corners of his eyes.

“Oh my god! That's so good!” Kevin whispers excitedly, rolling his eyes back dramatically. “Let me take another bite.” And Kevin does, continuing his act of being extra dramatic with his chewing. It only makes Steven laugh harder.

“Kevvvv! Kevin, stop, please!”

“Wait, wait, I’m not done yet! I have to now tap on the cookie again at least for a minute or two before eating again!” Kevin laughs alongside Steven, talking as he does back in his regular volume. “How was I? Bad?”

“No, no,” Steven says, able to speak properly and wipes away his tears. “That was good. Just a bit dramatic.”

“Ahh, was really trying to sell the whole act.”

“Well, you did good!” Steven sniffs and reaches for another cookie. Goofy Kevin is such a delight to have; Steven wishes Kevin is like that more.

“Thanks Stevie!”

The nickname makes Steven pause. “Stevie?”

“Yeah...you give me the nickname ‘Kev’. I thought Stevie would be yours,” Kevin says it like it’s no big deal. “Does it bother you? I can just call you Steven. Or caterpillar brows.”

“Caterpillar Brows?” Since when does Steven have that?

“Yeahhh, you eyebrows. They're thick and sometimes when you frown they almost come together to form a caterpillar, kind of.” Kevin then takes a bite of his cookie, smiling faintly while chewing and talking. “It happ’ns whenever yo’ are sleepin’ or th’nking supppper hard.”

The information on Kevin watching Steven doesn't come as much of a shock; Kevin already knows Steven drools (which Kevin only lets slide because Steven is adorable, not that Steven should care too much; everyone has called Steven adorable at some point. Why is Steven feeling flushed about that?). Steven thinks it’s honestly kind of sweet and it reminds him of how much Pearl used to do the same kind of thing.

“You watch me sleep, Kevin?”

The transformation of Kevin’s smile to nervousness and embarrassment along with his red cheeks confirms it. Steven snickers, enjoying this moment. “You must be channeling your inner Edward Cullen, huh?”

Kevin gulps, then calls out, frantic. “No! No! It’s not like that! I just—sometimes I, uh, I look over to make sure you're still okay and, and, and I just, you know, I get bored and you're there and I don’t even watch, watch you! I just take a glance or two! I swearrrr!” Kevin places his hand over his heart. “Scout's honor! Scout's, fucking, honor!”

Steven just laughs and waves a hand away. “Okay, okay. Stand down. I actually find it to be flattering along with the nicknames.”

Sinking into his seat, Kevin sighs out relief. “Okay, good. Stevie and Caterpillar Brows it is! You know, I kind of like the name Kev. Back when I was with Sabina she used to call me, Ken. It was cute.”

“Oh?” Steven says, pulling out another cookie. His heart drops, only for a moment (no thanks to the weed’s effect most likely); he ignores it, focusing instead on how chewy the treat tastes.

“Yeahhh, she called me Ken, sometimes Kev, but that was rare…” Kevin’s giggle doesn’t match his slight frown. “Man, I loved that girl! A little too much. Love is _so_ scary. It’s like, you're putting all your trust into this one person and hoping that they don’t crush your heart. It kind of makes you like an addict…”

“Like you do anything for that person,” Steven finishes off Kevin’s words. To protect the people you care, to love so much that you would put yourself over everything for their happiness, to sacrifice all that without hesitation...Steven knows exactly that kind of feeling Kevin is talking about.

“Yeah, it does actually. I don’t think I’ll ever find someone like her again,” Kevin admits with a sad sigh; his face flips back to doopy. “Hey, since we’re talking, what about you? You and Connie aren’t a thing officially anymore, do you think you’ll get back on the saddle and start dating? Like, you’re single and ready to mingle, man.”

Steven snorts and laughs. “I was always single and really ‘back on that saddle’? ‘Single ready to mingle’? You sound like my dad.”

“I do? Hmmm” Kevin does his slow nod causing Steven to crack up again. Kevin smiles in response, letting out a short titter. “I really like your laugh. It’s pretty.”

That’s a new one! Steven smiles, shy-like. “Um, thanks?”

You're welcome,” Kevin says then goes back to his previous statement. “So, when are you going to date again?”

“Date?” 

“Yeah, date,” Kevin repeats. He leans back, placing an elbow on the chair and crossing his legs. 

Dating is something Steven never thought about. As far as he is concerned, Connie is—no, was his everything: beautiful in the way she smiled or when she was sword fighting, making every movement delicate yet powerful like a ballerina; amazingly smart; very brave; funny with her little comments and cheeky remarks. Connie is perfect in his eyes. No one could even come close to comparison and even now, even after the (stupid) failed proposal and the (tramatizing) run-in at the hospital, Steven adores Connie, loves her greatly!

Well, that’s how Steven feels. How Connie feels about him, Steven is not so sure anymore.

“I—” Steven shuts his mouth, then speaks softly, sprinkling in a faint laugh. “I actually only loved, love Connie. I never dated before.”

“Never?” Kevin’s eyebrows go up.

“Yeah, never.”

“And you and Connie were never going out.”

“No.”

“Did—did you guys even kiss?”

“No, Kevin, why are you asking me this? Do you wanna date me or something?” Steven teases.

“No, Steven. You’re cute, but not my type,” Kevin says then mumbles to himself, Steven making out the words ‘ridiculous’ and ‘I’m everyone’s type.’ “You know what?” Kevin remarks loudly with his trademark nod. “Maybe Garnet screwing you over was a good thing. Now, you can finally date around.”

“Date around?”

“Yeah, like now you can figure out ‘your type’.” Kevin makes a show of doing air quotes before going on. “Actually, I feel some time apart would be healthy. You both now get to explore what you guys want in a relationship, meet new people, experiment. Maybe you’ll even find your actual soulmate! Maybe I’ll take you clubbing with me so we can do a bit of window shopping…”

Laughing is the wrong reaction for Kevin’s little “pick-up artist words”, but Steven just finds it so hilarious that Kevin thinks he’s some big-shot guy, older guy who knows exactly what relationships are like and how to get one. The last time Steven took Kevin’s advice, Connie and Steven almost didn’t become close to even being friends. What makes Kevin an expert on that kind of stuff?

“Window shopping? Really, Kev?”

“What? You never checked a person out before?”

“Uh, no, Kevin. That sounds like something you do.”

Kevin lightly kicks Steven’s leg. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. But, I’m serious. Okay, this might be the weed talking or whatever, but now I’m kinda hellbent on getting you someone to date. We don’t even have to go clubbing. Connie is smart, right? You seem into the scholarly type. I can hook you up with some people at my college.”

Steven leans his hands on his forehead, chuckling. “Kevin, you are the last person I would go to for relationship advice. Never again.”

“What? Are you referring to my party? I told you to act cool and it worked! And you won’t go to me, but you’ll go to Garnet, the child, who told you to propose to a girl…”

“Ruby and Sapphire,” Steven corrects him. “And yeah. Anyways, I don’t even know if I wanna date. I kinda just have eyes for Connie.”

That earns Steven a sideways gaze from Kevin. “Really? You never saw another person attractive besides Connie? No one else.”

Steven cringes, because he knows that’s not completely true (sadly, very sadly). “Well…”

“Oh, ho, ho, hoooo! No, now you gotta tell me!” Kevin leans his whole body forward. “I need details, Universe!”

“Okay, but you gotta promise that you won’t make fun of me…”

“It’s not Ronaldo, is it?” Kevin guesses, crinkling his nose. 

“Oh, hell no! I’m offended you would even think that!” Steven half shouts, half crackles. 

“Well, you said not to make fun of you!” Kevin says, then lowers his voice. “Okay, on the scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being, ‘I would rather jump off a cliff then even kiss this person’ and 10 being ‘I would marry that person just to tap that every day’, how bad was it?”

“Wait.. wouldn’t ‘I would rather jump off a cliff’ be a more of a zero? I feel like 1 would be like ‘I would have to be super drunk to even make out with this person’”.

“Stevennnn,” Kevin whines. “Just tell me.”

“Okay, okay!” Steven holds up his hands then sighs, lowering them. “It was maybe a 3...a 3 and half?”

“Yeah?” Kevin is hanging on to every word Steven is saying and Steven hates that.

Steven sighs again. “Promise you won’t make fun of me.”

“Scout's honor. Like, genuinely I was an actual scout! Got the sash and everything, dude.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really!”

“Promise that and you won’t make fun of me.”

“On my inheritance money, I swear to both!”

“Okay,” Steven takes a deep breath. He’s actually going to Kevin this, something he would only keep to himself because the thought was so wrong at the time. Admitting something like this out loud is so embarrassing. “Okay, so it was last summer…”

“Yeah, yeah.” Kevin flickers his hand. “More details.”

“You remember what happened with the land around Beach City dying slowly.”

“Yas, Steven, get to the point! Did you meet a girl while you were saving the world or something?”

“Not exactly.”

“Not exactly?” Kevin parrots, not leaving Steven’s eyes; he places his arms on the table and leans even closer. “Give me more.”

“So, I would like to preface this by saying I wasn’t in the exact right mind…”

“Oh my god! Steven, just tell me!” Kevin yells out, clearly annoyed and also invested.

“Okay, okay!” Steven lowers his voice murmuring the next sentence. “It was that gem I told you about; the one that caused everything.”

“Shit, what was her na—” Kevin stops, eyes widen, eyebrows raised up to his hairline, and his mouth fully open. “Wait!”

“Kevinn..”

“Wait! Wait! WHAT!” A snickers falls out, then a laugh, then Kevin full on howls. He throws his whole body back, shoulders shaking. Tears soon start falling from his eyes. “Steven, I—what! Oh, Oh, OH SHIT!”

“Oh, geez.” Steven can’t even look at him. “You promised…”

“I was never a scout!” Kevin croaks out between laughs; his whole face is red. “Steven, what the fuuuuck!”

“I thought she was kind of cute…”

“Steven, she tried to kill you! What—ahaha” Kevin falls over his stomach, shaking. “Oh, shit! Oh, shit! I can’t stop!”

Steven rubs his forehead. “I’m never telling you anything ever again.” 

“Okay, okay, wait,” Kevin squeaks out and begins to take deep breaths. He pulls himself together, snaps back up into a sitting position, and wipes his eyes. “Okay, okay. I’m done. Just...okay Steven, what the fuck? Are you a masochist or something?” 

Steven peeks up at Kevin. “No!”

“Then, what the hell?” Kevin bites lip, simmering back his laugh before speaking again. “Steven, I just have to know: why? What made her so attractive?”

“Ughhhh,” Steven groans burying his face back into his hands.

“No, no, no! You have to tell me!” Kevin shakes Steven’s arm. “Ooo! Do you have a picture of her? C’mon, I wanna see it! You have to show me!”

Steven groans one last time before showing his face. Without another word, he pulls his phone out from his pocket, and opens his gallery app. He has a pic of Spinel somewhere. The last time he visited Homeworld, she stole it from him and took a bunch of selfies of herself.

He finds a pic of Spinel beaming, throwing up a peace sign with him in the background, pissed, running towards her. “Just...here.” He slides the phone over to Kevin.

Kevin stares at the photo for a long time, sliding the phone back when he’s content. With thin, put together lips, he rests back in his seat, humming. 

“So, you have a thing for E-girls?” Kevin says suddenly.

“What! No, that’s not—”

“Yeah, she has the whole E-girl aesthetic going on with her pigtails and eyeliner; pastel clothes. You like that kind of stuff?”

“It is not like that—”

“I won’t peg you the type.” Kevin giggles. “You like a little edge, huh?”

“Kevin, omigod!” Steven stops him by raising his voice. “I did not like her, like her. I just... thought she was cute.”

“Cute?” Kevin knits his eyebrows up. “Cute, how?”

“Okay, well…” Oh, stars, Steven’s really doing this, huh? He starts again. “Well...originally she didn’t look like that! Her hair was heart shaped and her gem was right side up and she was adorable...geez!” 

Warmth is felt through Steven’s cheeks as he stammers out the rest. “Not that she wasn’t cute with the pigtails. I thought she was cute both ways, just her original form was more, ah, more bubbly and sweet? And her accent was kind of hot? Ohh, fuck, I don’t know! When she first landed down, fighting me, trash talking me—I swear I’m not a masochist! Just, fuck! Maybe I am a little messed up!” Steven does a short, nervous laugh. “When we were fighting, I thought, just for a second! A second! I just thought she was, like, she was…”

“Sexy?” Kevin offers, smirking.

Steven kicks Kevin hard in the shin. “You’re such an asshole!”

Kevin hollers first in pain then in laughter. Steven hates how Kevin laughs and he hates how he likes it and he hates how he kind of finds this whole thing funny too.

“Kevin, stop! It was only for a second!”

“It doesn’t matttter! You are a masochist.” Kevin pulls his hair back, howling, and stops suddenly to gasp loudly. “It all makes perfect sense now! It's no wonder why you like rough sex!”

"That has no correlation!"

“Yes, yes it does!" Kevin is shouting now through his laughter. "Admit it, Steven The Mayo Universe! Admit that you are a masochist!”

Steven is not going to admit that, mostly because it’s not true. Okay, well, a hair pull there and a little name calling is something Steven doesn’t mind, but doesn’t make him a complete masochist. Steven half-groans and half-laughs. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

“I’m not, so just admit it, Steven. You are a big fat masochist,” Kevin says then he attempts to imitate Steven’s voice. “I’m Steven Universe, and I am a big bitch, the biggest bitch in the whole wide world! Please step on me, mommy!”

“Why would I say mommy?” Steven shakes his head and covers his smile. “And I am not a bitch!”

“I don’t know. You hang out with a lot of girls. Maybe you have a mommy kink?” Kevin shrugs then taps his chin. “Maybe you have some suppressed, complex feelings about your mother so you seek out women who can give you the missing maternal comfort that you never had. Oh, maybe that’s why you found Spinel attractive!”

“Kevin,” Steven warns out from his wavering laugh. “I’m high, but you're starting to turn me sober.”

The older man holds up a finger. “Just wait! Just let me explain! Maybe it was a weird connection you two had because she was your mom’s and you have your mom’s gem. Like, ESP. You know, if Spinel was made for your mom then she’s kind of like your sister— oh man, that is so weird!”

“Kevin...shut the fuck up.”

Kevin keeps going. “Like, you know when siblings or relatives are separated, and met later in life, they can fall in love and want to bang. It happens; what if that was the attraction you felt? Man, that’s really freaky, haha!” 

It’s starting to scare Steven how Kevin can sound simultaneously smart and stupid. Wanting not to go down this thought process, Steven does a long sigh. “Kev, if I admit I’m a masochist will you stop talking about this?”

“Ah, yes, I will.”

The way Kevin smiles tells Steven that he might add one more thing, so he waits, staring at Kevin for a moment. Kevin stares back, eagerly, which doesn’t convince Steven even more, but the man isn’t saying anything so Steven just gets on with the embarrassing statement. 

“Alright fine.” Steven takes a breath. “Iamamasochist! There!”

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Steven just grumbles, reaching into the cookie jar. “Why do you even care if I am?”

“I..don’t really know?” Kevin admits like he’s trying to figure that out himself. He taps his chin. “Maybe ‘cause it goes against your personality? You’re so nice; it’s weird to see you like pain.”

“I don’t like pain,” Steven objects and his hand feels around looking for a cookie in the jar. Steven likes feeling out of control for a while and being used. That sounds awful to say outloud so he re-phrases it to sound nicer. “I just like feeling something, you know, willingly. Like, giving up control. And it’s so not weird; people can have different parts of themselves, like layers.”

“Huh, I guess you're right,” Kevin says, his lips curling up into Steven’s favorite smile. “You're kind of like one of those optical illusion picture things. The more you look at it, the more you can see different aspects of a picture like the woman at a desk is also a part of an old person’s face.”

 _What the fuck?_ “Kevin, I have no idea what that means?” Steven says, laughing. Hand in the jar still, he moves it down to the bottom. Nothing. “Hey, where are the rest of the cookies?”

“It means I find you interesting, Caterpillar.”

Universe is the norm for a nickname. Stevie is nice and short. Caterpillar Brows, hilarious and adorable. Caterpillar? That nickname almost wrecks Steven with the way Kevin says it casually while smiling lazily, eyes gazing happily. Cheeks instantly get warm and Steven withdraws his hand from the jar, using it to brush a curl behind his ear.

Say something! Steven needs to talk about anything, not just stare at Kevin! “Um, erh, the cookies? Do we have anymore? I’m still hungry!” That is a bad leeway. Good thing Kevin doesn’t notice, shaking his head.

“Oh! Yeah, no, they're all gone.”

The bad news pulls Steven away from Kevin’s earlier words. “Aww, I really, really liked those cookies…”

“Don’t pout. Hey, we can make some!”

The small smile on Kevin’s face grows and Steven can’t resist it. Baking shouldn’t be too difficult. Steven has done it before and he is still really, really hungry. Might as well give in and try.

“Okay, it’s not like it’s a cake or anything!” Steven agrees, copying Kevin’s smile. “Alright, let’s make some!”

* * *

Those chocolate-chip-caramel-cinnamon flavored cookies were delicious! Steven wishes they made more, but Kevin only had enough ingredients for a dozen after the first batch were burnt due to them paying attention to their reflection in the oven and not the actual cookies themselves.

Next to Steven’s phone, an empty plate lays on the coffee table, crumbles completely gone (Kevin licked it clean, so gross, but was amusing to watch). Both Steven and Kevin lay on the couch; Steven nuzzles his head into Kevin’s chest, enjoying how nice it feels for his hair to be played with. Meanwhile, on-screen, he watches an orca swim through the ocean while the sound of a british voice-over drones on about how an adult male orca can grow to be a whopping twelve thousand pounds. Something about watching the orca glide through the water while being so big, Steven relates to on a personal level, so much so that he’s starting to feel that maybe he’s actually half-orca, and not half-gem.

Vibrations from Steven’s phone pierce his ears. With a grunt, he sits up on the couch and reaches for his phone. He answers it, not bothering to check the caller i.d. “Hello?”

“Steven!” A squeaky, maternal-like voice calls out; the volume is so loud that Steven winces, recoiling from the phone before placing it back to his ear. “—just checking on your day with Onion. How is everything?”

“Onion? Like, the vegetable?” Steven did not mean to say that out loud.

“Steven...are you okay?”

Steven giggles. Why does everyone always ask him that?

“Yeah, yeah,” then he pauses, focusing his attention back on his supposed kin, the orca. A second, minute, or two passes by before he talks again. “Sorry, I’m watching orcas…”

“You mean, Onion?”

“Haha, no orcas,” Steven clarifies to the caller. Next to him, Kevin sturs up, laughing quietly. 

“Steven,” the voice on the other end tenses, “are you feeling, okay? Should I come get you?”

“No, no, no...haha, I’m finnne!” Steven snickers. From the way the other person sounds, it must be Pearl, worrying about something, so Steven better try to quiet her down.“Haha, I’m sorry...Pearl? No, haha, I’m good. Don’t worry. Everything is fine! You're such a mom, sort of.” Steven then laughs. “And your nose is really pointy, like a bird, so hahaha, that, haha makes you a bird mom! Oh, like a mother hen! Hahahaha!”

Something muffles on the caller’s other end and Steven hears Pearl call out for Garnet. Steven sits patiently, waiting for Pearl to come back; he picks at a loose thread on his jacket.

A hand nudges Steven on his arm. He looks up and sees Kevin. He mouths a word to Steven and then points at the phone. 

“What?” Steven asks, laughing.

Kevin shakes his head, then points out the phone again; his mouth forming the words more slowly: S-P-E-A-K-E-R.

“Oooooh, speaker!” Steven exclaims. He may have said that too loudly, because Kevin winces then puts a finger to his lips.

“Steven? Hello, this is Garnet. Are you okay?”

Steven clicks his phone on speaker and answers. “Yeahhhh, I am fine.”

Kevin slaps his forehead. He waves at Steven, and Steven waves back. Groaning, Kevin shakes his head then mouths something else: STOP LAUGHING.

Steven bites his lip.

“Steven. Are you at Vidalia’s.”

SAY YES.

“Yesss, where else would I be? Hehehe—”

In an instant, Kevin is on top of Steven; Kevin covers Steven’s mouth and whispers in his ear. “Dude, you keep rambling and they’re going to know your high. Just do what I say.” 

“Steven! What’s happening?” Garnet does not sound happy.

“Tell her you just woke up, you dozed off by accident,” Kevin instructs. His hand leaves Steven’s mouth, but is placed back quickly. “And don’t laugh!” He lets go.

“Sorry, I just woke up. I dozed off by accident.”

“And you had a weird dream,” Kevin adds in a hush.

“And I had a weird dream,” Steven repeats.

There’s a short pause and Garnet speaks again. “Are you okay to drive? You sound...off.”

“Holy crap! They are grilling you,” Steven hears Kevin mumble. “Don’t repeat that! Say yes and that you're leaving right now.”

“Yeah, I can drive. I’m leaving right now actually.”

Another long pause comes from the line. “Okay, Steven,” Garnet finally replies back, “we’ll see you soon.”

“Say bye and hang up!”

“Bye, Garnet. I love you!” Steven would have said more, but Kevin yanks the phone out of his hands and hangs up.

“Heyyyyy!” Steven whines and takes his phone back. “I wasn’t finished.”

Kevin laughs lightly as he crawls off of Steven. “Yes, you are. Steven, you’re still stoned.” He gets up from the couch. “Normally, I would tell you to sleep it off here, but your three alien moms are waiting for you…”

Steven waves a hand and gets up. “It’s fine. It’ll probably wear off by the time I get home.”

Kevin holds his hand out on Steven’s chest, stopping him from moving any further. “Steven, _I_ don’t even know if you can drive!”

Bewildered, Steven stares back at Kevin. “You never stop me after we drink.”

“Yeah, but we nap after,” Kevin says, holding on to Steven’s shoulders suddenly. His eyebrows point down. “Look, I usually drive high and stuff, but you're a newbie to this kind of thing. Maybe I should drive you home…”

Bad idea! The car Kevin drives isn’t exactly covert; if someone were to see Steven in there with Kevin then that would lead to a whole lot of questions and Steven likes the set up they have so far. He doesn’t want to ruin it. The concern Kevin has is cute, but Steven has to drive home and it’s not even that far from here to his house.

“Kev, please, I’ve survived being put into multiple life or death situations; I think I can drive home high.”

“But—”

“Even if I wanted to, how am I going to explain not having my car?” Steven reminds Kevin and pats the man’s shoulder for extra insurance. “I can drive and I wouldn’t say so if I didn’t think I could.”

Chewing on his lip, Kevin looks at Steven for a long time, as if he’s studying him over, checking to see if Steven is lying. It’s long or at least Steven thinks it’s long; time has been so confusing while on weed. Finally, Kevin gives Steven’s shoulders a squeeze and lets go. “Okay, fine, but promise me that you’ll text me when you get home!”

“Scout's honor,” Steven says, putting his hand over his heart.

The reference on the conversation from earlier doesn’t miss Kevin as he smiles. “Okay, okay. Just before you go, wait here.”

Steven wants to ask why he has to wait, but Kevin is gone, disappearing down a hall. When he comes back, he holds a bottle of cologne. “I’m going to spray a lot on you; we need to cover up the smell, okay?”

“Okay.” Steven spreads his arms out and Kevin begins squirting the cologne. Wanting to get rid of the silence, Steven voices an observation. “Back there on the phone? You seemed to know what you were doing.”

“Yeah, I did a lot of weed in high school.” Kevin squirting up and down Steven’s right arm. “I had to come up with a lot of cover stories over the phone and in-person.” Kevin moves the squirting to Steven's left arm. “Luckily, my parents were too busy to question why I always reeked of Axe body spray.”

Steven perks up at that. It’s going to be a dig and Steven doesn’t mean to do it, but he can’t help himself to dig a bit further. “Busy with what?”

“You know like, business trips, paper work, adult stuff.” Kevin goes down low, spraying Steven's legs.

“That must have sucked.” Another dig.

“It did, but it was whatever, you know?” Kevin rises up again, spraying Steven’s belly. “I got to throw a ton of parties anyway so it didn’t really matter.” The way Kevin says it, doesn’t sound like whatever; it sounds like it hurts.

“Oh, I mean, still,” Steven gives into his empathic side and keeps going, hoping he’ll hit something and Kevin will open up some more. “I’m sorry about that. It must've been lonely. Is that why you threw so many parties? You know, you can talk—”

A puff of scented air comes too close to Steven’s nose, making him cough.

“Ah, sorry my hand split,” Kevin apologizes plainly.

“It's s'okay,” Steven says, knowing that it wasn't an accident, more like a _shut up._ Acting unbothered, Steven shrugs. “This actually feels nice.”

“Hah, course it does,” Kevin says, his voice back to sounding normal. He does a few more squirts then steps back.

Steven's clothes are damp, and it occurs to him that the smell is cinnamon: Kevin's usual scent.

“Thanks, Kev.” Steven knits his fingers together and smiles. “I guess this is goodbye?”

“Ah, not yet,” Kevin says, eyes smiling. He walks Steven to the door. “When you get home, go straight to your room. You need to sleep the weed off and if anyone asks you questions, just answer shortly. You're a real rambler. Remember, text me when you get home.”

Steven nods, slipping on his flip-flops. “Okay, okay.”

“Alright,” Kevin gives one last smile. “Bye, Stevie.”

“Bye Kev.” Steven pulls Kevin into a hug. Nothing really happens, it’s just Steven hugging with Kevin being stiff, which is to be expected. Kevin is not that most affectionate person around. Eventually though, Steven feels arms wrap around him, squeezing back. When Steven pulls away, he can see Kevin’s whole face tinted bright red, a color Steven finds really good on Kevin.

He doesn't voice his thought out loud, not this time, instead Steven gives one last smile before heading out the door. The sun's rays sting Steven's eyes when he sets out. Hissing, he shields his eyes and goes to the Dondai, unlocking the driver's side door. There's a feeling of someone watching him and Steven looks up, finding the source to be Kevin, gawking at him from his doorway.

"Kevin!” Steven whines out. “I’ll be fine!”

"I know, I just want to make sure," Kevin calls back.

Steven groans, though he can't help to smile at Kevin's overprotectiveness. He opens the car door and slips inside. Kevin doesn't move from beyond the doorway. Steven throws a thumb up, hoping that would get him to budge. It doesn't.

"Stars, he is persistent," Steven mutters. Kevin shouldn't have to be this worried over Steven. Steven is going to be fine. All he needs to do is just drive home and sleep. Inserting the key and turning on the engine, Steven takes a breath, looks over his shoulder, and pulls out with ease. See, totally fine.

As he drives off, he checks his rear view mirror and sees Kevin retreat back into his house.

Perfect. 

Steven doesn't need to be doted over because he is going to be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh! Okay, so I actually pre-wrote the first three chapters including this and it took me a month to edit and write this! I’ve rewritten and edited this a total of five fucking times! I have a special playlist just for this and I’ve been listening to that for a month on a loop!!! I’m not completely proud of this chapter but I want to get this out already so I can work on other stuff. 
> 
> Since I wouldn’t be back for quite a while, the next chapter will be a chapter and a half (definitely shorter than this!) so next up:  
> The Chapter between IV and V or How Steven realizes that he is, in fact, not fine


	5. The Chapter between IV. and V. or How Steven realizes that he is, in fact, not fine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so I have this concept of a “chapter and a half”—(usually) a short, extra scene following the last chapter so without further ado...
> 
> Steven’s POV: Yeah, Steven is not fine

Steven is still high when he pulls up to his house.

He turns the car off and clumsily slips out. Texting Kevin, he closes the door with his foot.

_‘Me: Hey made it home in 1 piece! See told you I would be fine😀’_

Steven gets an instant reply back.

_‘Appointee: Good! Now nap and DONT TALK TO ANYONE’_

_‘Me: U really have no faith me 😂’_

_‘Appointee: Honestly no lol ur still texting me for one’_

Steven chuckles as he treads up the stairs, texting one last message, assuring Kevin he is going to bed now. The messages are light hearted than usual, but Steven supposes that Kevin is just making sure he’s okay. Someone doting over Steven would on a normal day bother him, right now, though he’ll accept it. A nap would do him some good. The minute Steven’s body hits the bed, he is going to take the longest, bestest nap ever!

Humming a tone, Steven opens the door and stumbles inside. It is here he is met with the Gems and his dad, sitting on the couch and their attention on him. 

In this moment, Steven realizes some very important things:

  1. The Gems AND his father is here
  2. They look very, very concern
  3. Steven is not going to get that nap easily now



And 4. he is, in fact, not fine

Pearl is the first to react, jumping out her seat and rushing towards him. Her hands are all over Steven’s face, feeling around as she talks. “Steven! Oh my stars! Are you okay? You sounded so strange on the phone! Are you sick? You don’t feel sick.”

Steven wants to say that he is high, not sick. He bites his tongue, stopping the thought from slipping out. Not like he could talk anyways. He can’t because according to Kevin, he rambles too much. Forcing his lips to curve upwards, Steven shakes his head. 

Steven can tell Pearl doesn’t like the non-verbal answer. She opens her mouth to say more, but Garnet steals her chance. “Steven, are you sure you're feeling okay? You sounded a bit odd on the phone.” Her hands steeple together and she stares right at him, hard, like she’s searching for something. 

Steven fidgets then gulps. When did his throat get so dry?

Timidly, Steven nods, lips pressed tighter. Garnet’s eyes don’t leave him. Sweat begins to accumulate down his forehead. Why is she staring _so_ much? It’s as if she and Steven are stuck, locked into this weird staring contest.

An unnerving thought pops into Steven’s head— _is she using her future vision?_ If this was some other time, the thought would be comforting; now, it makes Steven’s skin crawl, just knowing that only she could anticipate his actions before he even knows it himself, like some invasion of his free will or thoughts.

“Yeah, Garnet and Pearl called me as soon as they heard you on the phone.” His father’s voice snaps Steven of his staring contest with Garnet. His eyes drift to his father, sandwiched in between Garnet and Amethyst. “They said you sounded kind of weird.”

Amethyst chimes in. “Yeah, man! You were going on some weird shit about orcas and vegetables!”

Pearl shots Amethyst a look. “Amethyst, please! Language!”

What did Pearl think Steven was? Still a child? The stern action makes Steven chuckle and eyes go right back to him. Oh, shit.

Pearl’s frown deepens. “Steven, are you okay? Really?”

Everyone is watching him, waiting for a response. Steven swallows. The sweat has gone from his forehead to his back. What should he say? He can’t just stare and smile and move his head! His eyes go straight back to Garnet. Surely, if anyone knew what was wrong with him it was her. What if she’s waiting for him to confess...what if she told everyone and this is all an act and everyone is waiting for his confession? Just waiting for him to blurt it out and cry about how he’ll never do weed again.

Briefly Steven studies Garnet: her shoulders slumped, hands together, feet apart. It doesn’t seem like she’s letting on a sense of suspicion. Her posture looks worried, a bit worn out at the most. So, maybe she didn’t know? Her future vision did have moments of not being correct—she never predicted Pearl’s rebuilding of the communication hub nor that Steven would give himself up for capture to the Diamonds. Her visions work off of probability and patterns. Those outcomes she couldn’t see because it was so out there, so unexpected.

Which means, Garnet can’t see Steven ‘s appointments with Kevin because that would be so out of character of Steven, completely un-Steven-like and in that case…

Steven looks from Garnet to Amethyst, his dad, then back to Pearl. Same worried expression. So, no one knows at all. This is fine. Steven just has to do what he does best—lie and keep up the facade. He just has to do while high.

Steven takes a breath. “Yeah, I’m fine!” He tries his best to imitate his usual upbeat speaking pattern. “I just dozed off and had a really weird dream of fish and vegetables, but I’m good now. Sorry about that!”

Pearl is the first to question him. “Yeah, but, Steven, you sounded very confused and disorientated on the phone. Even a bit chatty?”

Steven takes another breath. Remember, short and sweet. “Pearl, I’m usually chatty.”

“Yes, but not like that chatty, not how you were on the phone,” Pearl says, feeling around his face again. Her hands suddenly stop. She leans forward and takes a big sniff. Steven watches as her nose wrinkles. “Steven, you smell—”

“You know, I’m actually super hungry from that nap!” Steven says quickly. He shoos Pearl’s hands away and crosses the room to the fridge. Eating, not a smart choice, but he needed an excuse to get away from Pearl. That and his mouth is really, really dry?

“So, how was Onion?” his father asks him. Steven can’t help to find the tone more inquisitive like his dad is testing him.

Steven keeps his focus on searching the fridge. “Huh? Onion?”

“Yes. Onion, Steven? How was it?” Greg says again and dammit, he is testing Steven! Steven feels it! He might be able to fool the Gems, but his dad, the ex-rockstar, who did weed and coke in his van, not so much.

Steven tries to remember what he said about Onion earlier today. It must have come up in passing before he left the house. Either he’s too nervous or too high because his mind is drawing up a blank. Steven decides to take a shot in the dark.

“Uhh, oh! Babysitting? Yeah, it went the usual, a handful.”

Steven knows he got the answer correct when he hears his dad’s familiar deep laugh. “Yeah, that does sound about right.”

So far, so good. Keep it up, Universe! Steven wonders if Kevin would be proud of him if he could witness this. Probably would be impressed. And Kevin said he had no faith in Steven. As Steven ponders he wonders if maybe he should go into acting. Lying is kind of like acting, sort of-ish? Maybe a few lessons from Jamie would do Steven good—

“Dude, are you browsing the fridge or what?”

“Wha?” Steven turns to look at Amethyst.

She flashes a smile at him and raises an eyebrow. “You’ve been staring at the fridge for like forever. I left you a slice of pizza.”

Steven blinks then glances at the fridge to Amethyst again. How long has he been staring in space? Not that long! Right? Steven quickly looks to his father and Pearl—now sitting on the arm of the couch—both of which sneak a concerned shared look. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Panicking, Steven forces out a laugh. “Hahaha, yeahh, I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”

He turns back to the fridge and grabs the container Amethyst was talking about with the pizza and because it’s so damn hot, he grabs a jug of water. 

“Sooo, Steven, what did you and Onion do?” he hears Pearl as he pops the pizza in the microwave.

“Um, we played some games…” Steven stops, glancing back at the Gems and his father. Sitting there. Still. Watching him. Steven breathing hikes up. Why the fuck were they still there, looking at him? All that fiery staring, it’s like they’re trying to set him on fire! It’s probably because Steven’s not talking. Yeah! That’s probably why they're gawking at him! Steven is usually talkative when in a good mood!

“We also watched some TV. There were a lot to choose from! Had a lot of programs and channels and stuff, ahaha! It was fun and cool. Super cool. Cool, cool, cool!” How long does it take to heat up pizza? Steven goes on, filling up the silence. “You guys know Onion has a secret room? Of himself? Weird. Really weird! Haha! And he has a doll of me! Oh my gosh, that’s sooo weird! But it’s fine! Onion is such a sweet kid like Sour Cream. He’s cool too! I—”

The ding of the microwave finally stops Steven. He opens the door and goes to take out his pizza, immediately recoiling with a hiss as soon as his fingers touch the sizzling hot container. He closes the door and turns back to the Gems and his dad.

If they looked worried before, now they look down right scared.

“Steven,” Greg says slowly. “You’re talking a lot…”

Fuck! _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_ Steven screams at himself in his mind: _shut up! Their fucking on to you, you idiot!_ Sweaty. Steven feels sweaty, like he’s wearing a sweater in the middle of the summer. He tugs on his shirt. Steven needs to fix this somehow.

“Am I? I haven’t noticed?” Steven nonchalantly answers. “Hey is the A/C broken or something? It’s kinda hot. ”

Garnet responses. “Steven, it's 67 degrees.”

Steven looks at her not quite getting what that means. She talks some more. “Steven, it’s about room temperature…”

“Hahaha! Oh my gosh really!” _Then, why is it so freakin’ hot?_ Steven turns away to get out his pizza, giving him some time to pull himself together because he can’t breathe properly and he can feel eyes on him, and he feels like they might know that he’s high or at least his dad might know, and oh shit that might lead to them figuring out about him and Kevin!

“Schtu-ball, are you sure you’re okay?” Greg asks, uneasy.

Steven responses with his go-to answer. “I’m fine! I’m fine!” He grabs his drink and pizza and heads to the table, his back away from his family. He really does not them staring him down while he eats.

The sound of someone getting up from the couch is heard and next thing Steven knows, his dad is next to him, feeling his forehead. _Oh no!_ Anyone but _his dad_! Steven stiffens up. Greg does a heavy hum and pulls away, and stars, Steven just knows he knows now!

“You do actually feel a little warm,” Greg murmurs. He threads his hand through Steven’s curls affectionately. “Your mother used to ramble a lot sometimes when she wasn’t feeling well…”

That makes Steven burn up even more. Pink spots his vision. There’s a gasp from his dad. “Steven, you’re pink!”

No duh! Steven laughs nervously. “Ohhh, I am. Hehe, that’s something. Maybe I am sick.”

“Should we take him to the doctor?” Pearl pipes up and Steven really doesn’t need her to go into ‘mother mode’, especially when he’s high! The comment only increases his temperature.

“No! No, I’m fine!” Steven shouts and he takes off his jacket, hoping that will cool him down some. Steven takes a breath, finding it hard to do, like the suddenly has turned thick. Despite the difficulty, he takes another and his glow goes away, yet the overwhelming heat doesn’t. “See! I’m fine!” 

No one looks convinced. Okay, this is Steven’s time to eat as much as he can and shut the fuck up. He scarves down his pizza, ignoring how it burns the roof of his mouth. When he’s done, he opens his jug and takes a sip of water.

“Whoa! Dude!” Steven hears Amethyst call out. “Did you even swallow that?”

“Steven, you must’ve been hungry, huh?” his dad comments; his hand going back to Steven’s hair. 

Not wanting to go on a ramble once more, Steven nods vigorously which only intensifies the stares he’s getting. He needs another distraction, so he takes another sip of his water, finding it to quench his throat, he keeps drinking, chugging it down until there’s nothing left. Slamming the jug down, he breathes out long and hard.

“Steven, did you—did you drink all of that?” Greg stops petting Steven’s hair and with wide eyes studies Steven over in distress. 

“Uh...I?” Steven looks away from his father. Was that the wrong reaction? He looks to the Gems and their posture is up straight, face copying Greg’s. 

“Steven, are you sure you’re okay?” Pearl squawks out.

“Yeah, dude, you’re acting really weird! It’s kinda scary!” Amethyst hurriedly adds.

“Steven.” And Garnet is using her stern _“you’re-going-to-be-in big-trouble”_ mom voice. “Is there something you're not telling us?”

Oh stars and everything above, they _know_! Garnet used her future vision or maybe Steven was that obvious. Steven grabs his jacket so he has something to fiddle with. On the verge of hyperventilating, his eyes dart to everyone and his body is burning; out the corners of his eyes, he sees his own glow bright as ever. Uncontrollable, his right arm expands then his leg and everyone gasps, immediately closing in and it’s sweet, but too much and too hot and Steven feels as though he might bust from everyone surrounding him and his heart pumping so fast!

“I—I need space!” Steven shouts. The left half of his face swells like a balloon then deflates. “I’m just really tired and stressed and I just need to lay down!” With that Steven races up the stairs, not bothering to look back to the calls of “come back” and “wait”. As soon as he’s in his room, he slams the door and locks it.

He paces, his hands pull at his hair. He is so screwed! There’s a knock on his door followed by his dad asking if he’s okay. Steven croaks out. “Yes, I just need to be alone!”

Steven watches the shadow of feet from under the door linger, then move following the noise of creeks descending down the stairs. That doesn’t calm Steven down at all. He can just imagine the conversation downstairs with his dad and the Gems—his dad would probably say “Steven is high” and Garnet would agree, so would the Gems, and then they would come back up and knock down his door, demanding where he got the drug from. The scenario only intensifies the turning in Steven’s stomach and his body heat. 

He tries to breath in and out, finding it still so hard. It’s as if Steven is drowning little by little with each shaky breath.

Calm. Calm down. He has to distract himself. No one has knocked down his door yet. Until then he needs to chill out. By? By what? His ukulele lays in the corner near his desk. Good idea to keep his busy, yet fingers are quivering so much. Music, out. This nervousness has to get out of his system somehow. Through talking? Hands are on his jacket, pointing and prodding around, til his phone is in his hand.

He scrolls through his contacts. Connie? Hell no! She’s busy and what is he going to say? ‘Hey, Connie, I’m super high, so don’t mind me! How’s everything going with you?’ Jenny or Kiki? Kiki might think he’s crazy so Jenny is the better option. Besides, Steven knows she’s done weed before for sure. He calls her and voicemail. He hangs up. Great, she’s most likely doing some business stuff.

Steven continues to scroll. Lars! He has to be available—oh shit, can he even get service in space? Peedee, except they haven’t been talking since forever...Ronaldo, uh-uh. Sour Cream; Steven calls. Voicemail. Is everyone busy?

Steven groans and grips his hair. He can’t breath. His heart is pumping fast. He literally has no one to talk to; no one can help him out. Wait, that’s not entirely true. Steven scrolls, and stops, thumbe hovering over a contact: Appointee. Kevin.

They never called each other. They both agreed on texts only. Kevin justified as to keep the strictly business feel to the relationship and Steven didn’t complain about that. Biting his lip, Steven weighs his options: if he called Kevin might get mad which will make Steven feel worse; if called and begged Kevin to listen, maybe Kevin would ease up, hopefully.

Steven hits ‘call’. Fuck it; Kevin is the only person who’ll understand anyways being as they did weed together. Pressing the phone to his ear, Steven is met with the annoyingly long dial tone. Then, it stops.

“Hello?”

“Oh, fuck! Thank goodness you picked up!” Steven chokes out and he wants to cry. He grips the phone, to remind himself that this is in fact real and Kevin actually picked up.

“Steven, what’s wrong?” Kevin’s voice is both slow and harsh.

“I-I feel really weird!” Steven takes ragged breaths in between his frantic-coming words. “Everyone was watching me and I couldn’t go upstairs and I had to talk and now my heart is racing and I think they know! I can’t calm down and I don’t know what to do? Is this normal? Kevin, I’m really, really scared! I can’t breath! What do I—”

“Steven! Calm down!”

Steven stops, breathing staggering in and out.

Kevin murmurs a “fuck” and his voice gets gentle, but firm. “Everything is going to be okay. You’re just feeling paranoid; it happens. Just breath, okay?”

Paranoid? Okay, paranoia is what’s causing Steven to feel as though he can’t get a good breath in. Totally fine. And Steven can breath. Not like he has been doing that before with his heart beating a thousand miles per minute like some damn race car and body shaking and gem pulsing with his body swelling up too and his body pink.

“Steven, talk to me !” Kevin’s harsh tone brings Steven back. “Steven, where are you?”

“In my room,” Steven lets out following up with a sniff. He wipes away a tear.

“Okay. Okay, that’s good!” Steven hears Kevin sigh, and then his voice is back to soft. “I need you to breathe with me. Okay?”

Steven nods.

“Breath with me, okay, Caterpillar?”

“Yeah, okay,” Steven agrees, crawling on the bed. He sniffs and rests his head on the headboard to relax better.

“Okay. Perfect. Breath in.”

Steven takes a breath alongside Kevin.

“Now out.”

And Steven exhales with Kevin.

“Okay, breath in again.”

Inhale.

“Out.”

Exhale.

“In again.”

Inhale.

“And out.”

Exhale.

“You’re going to be fine. One last time, Caterpillar. In.”

Kevin’s voice is so smooth and quiet, so much so that Steven actually believes what he says. He also finds the nickname to be a nice touch too. Steven inhales again.

“And out.”

Steven exhales one last time. The beating of his heart mellows out back to a normal pace. Glancing down he watches as the pink of his body dims down, returning him back to his regular color.

“Feel better?” Kevin asks, voice continuing to be in a hush.

Steven wipes his remaining tears. He sinks into his bed, exhausted. “Yeah.”

“Good, good,” Kevin replies. “Are you laying down?”

“Yes.” Using one hand, Steven pulls the covers over his body.

“Okay, good. Just relax. You're just coming down and you happened to have a bad trip, couldn’t be better with everyone around either.” There’s a pause and Steven grips his phone. “Just lay there for a while. I’m actually glad you called.” Steven lets up the hold on his phone.

“You’re okay with me calling?”

“Well, yeah. I mean, I wanted to know if you were okay and um, you clearly had a bad time, so it was an emergency.” Steven hears Kevin’s nervous laugh. 

Silence settles back. Steven chews his lip. Kevin didn’t mind; everything is okay. Why does Steven feel nervous still, down there in his stomach? Steven decides he should talk this time. “Well, thanks. I just tried calling everyone else and no one was there.” The tears are coming back. “I just really appreciate it.”

“Oh, Steven. Hey, it’s okay. I’m here now.” Kevin’s voice sounds sooo good to Steven and the ‘I’m here’, not ‘Kevin’s here’, ‘I’m here’ —it’s nice, very nice and sincere. 

“Has this ever happened to you? A bad trip?” Steven asks, wanting more of that voice.

“Yeah, actually,” Kevin speaks delicately as if he’s shy. “It, uh, happened a couple of times. My first few times. I know it can be pretty scary. This one time I had a bit too much or something, thought the room was going to explode.”

Kevin then chortles. Steven rolls over and curls up, listening to his next words.

“I was with Derrick and he had to talk me out of holding him so tight. I thought if we were going to die I might as well comfort him before the end.”

“That sounds funny,” Steven slurs out with a quiet giggle after because it does sound pretty funny and Steven can’t really imagine Kevin showing that much affection willingly.

“Another time I came home high and my parents were all dressed up for this business function.” A laugh is heard again. “I think it was like for this gala, charity thing for my dad? Anyways, they made me go and I was super out of it. I was sweaty and panicking and thought everyone could read my mind for some weird reason.”

This time when Kevin laughs, Steven joins in.

“I had the munchies too, so I ate a ton of hors d'oeuvres! Even stuff I didn’t like, which by the way, don’t ever eat caviar; it’s gross. Anyways, my dad introduced me to some dude he had connections with and he tried to speak Mandarian to me. I was freaking the fuck out in my head, totally convinced he read my mind. I was all like ‘Fuck! How the hell does this rando know I speak Mandarian?’” Kevin abruptly stops his story. “Hey, uh, shit, am I boring you? Sorry, I can stop if you want?”

“No!” Steven exclaims. Now is not the time for Kevin to feel embarrassed! His voice is so nice and gentle and calming and Steven could listen to him talk about paint drying and be satisfied! “Please, keep going!”

Kevin chuckles. “Okay, okay, I will. So, the guy he asks me something. I think it was ‘how are you? What are you studying?’ something like that and I’m just standing there and my parents are just looking at me and then the guy holds out his hand and I just panic…”

Steven smiles and closes his eyes.

“And so I shake it and I fumble out something I’m pretty sure was unrelated to what he asked, which I guess didn’t matter anyways because I was in high school so what was I going to say, math? Haha, but I think I told him my name and my age—I don’t know! I barely remember what I was taught about the language ‘cause you know.”

Remembering the conversation they had over breakfast that time, Steven laughs. “I do.”

“Yeah, so I ended up staying in the restroom, and pacing around. So stupid. My parents were pissed about me staying in there for so long, not about me being on weed. They never noticed.” A pause. “They never really notice anything about me actually.”

Steven opens back his eyes. Kevin sounds like before when he was spraying Steven with cologne, distant with a stead timbre. “They're always so busy except when I get in trouble which is whatever, but…” Kevin trails off. Steven wants to hear more. More about Kevin’s parents, his life, everything. Everytime Kevin brings something up worth talking about, he changes the subject either to something else or onto Steven.

At times, Steven thinks about asking for more, digging for more, seeing what’s underneath all that confidence and arrogance, so he can get down and meet the real Kevin. But, Steven pushes that out his head. Kevin isn’t the type that would open up so easily and Steven doesn’t need a repeat of graduation night.

“But you know I got to throw a ton of parties with them out the house so much!” Kevin’s tone is more lighthearted, too lighthearted, emphasizing his words greatly. It sounds familiar. Again, Steven doesn’t dig. He just lets Kevin talk.

“Uh, what to talk about...Oh! Okay, so I don’t know how, but this one time this drunk asshole busted a huge fucking hole in my parents’ bedroom! Looking back it was kind of funny actually, but at the time I was super pissed! I almost kicked his ass!”

Steven hums and closes his eyes, continuing to listen. 

“Yeah, I had to call a repairman and my parents were coming back on the day of, so the pressure was on.” Kevin laughs, genuinely happy, the kind of laugh Steven likes that he does. “I don't know how he did it, but that man managed to fix it in time. Sort of. The wall is now not as thick as it was before. Oh! Like, there was this one time I snuck my girlfriend in my room and we were having sex…”

Steven’s heart tightens (most likely due to remaining weed in his system).

“My parents heard I guess and I recognize my dad’s footsteps from anywhere! I panicked and pushed her off the bed and she hid under there. Right at the moment, my dad came in, asking me what was with the noise and um…” Kevin coughs. “This is so embarrassing, but my body was barely covered with the sheets so I lied and I told him I was jacking off. Thought it would be easier to explain. Oh, I was so thankful that my dad was too embarrassed to ask me any more questions.”

Doziness is starting to take over Steven. Groggily, he opens his eyes briefly to put his phone on speaker and pull the sheets closer to him.

“Sneaking her out was hard. My bedroom was on the second floor so I had to make a rope to lower her down! Man, I was fucking dumb! She fell in the rose bushes and almost got caught by my mom taking out the trash. Thankfully though I made it down stairs in time to distract her so Sabina could leave… Let’s see,” Kevin hums a quick tune, then shouts. “Okay, I got another one! So the party I invited you too!”

A inaudible yes slips from Steven ‘s lips, and Kevin is too excited to question it seems. “Okay, so, I’m actually glad you left when you did because I don't know how and I don’t know who—” He does the laugh Steven likes. “But a bunch of strippers showed up! Randomly, just out of the blue!” If Steven wasn’t so sleepy, he would have laughed.

“Man, when I tell you they were strippers!” Steven hears Kevin do a dog whistle. “Their skirts were _short_! I even got a lap dance! It was awesome! I kind of feel a little bad for the lady though, she probably felt my erection. I wonder if they’re used to that actually…”

Kevin’s words start to fade away. Steven can’t tell if Kevin is just talking quieter or it's him who’s not paying much attention. “They got in a few dances before they found out about some of us being underaged. But, after that party everyone who came talked about it for weeks. I would get stopped in the halls and get asked ‘hey aren’t you the guy who brought a pink lion and those strippers to your party?’ and I would be like ‘why yes, of course, that’s me! I’m Kevin, the guy who throws awesome parties don’t you forget it!’ By the way, you were really popular too; girls keep asking if we were friends and thought you were super adorable.”

Steven smiles faintly. It’s as if Kevin is right here, laying beside him, telling all of these stories while smiling, laughing…

“Hey, Steven.”

Steven hears his name, but he’s so tired.

“Are you asleep?”

Steven wants to respond; he faintly opens his mouth and closes it, too tired to utter a ‘yes’. He opts to make some type of noise resembling a hum.

“Haha, I take that as a maybe?” Kevin’s words drop to a whisper. “Hey, just in case, I’ll still be here. At least for a bit longer and I’ll call you after a bit later, okay?”

That statement makes Steven’s heart skip. The good kind of skip. The skip he used to get whenever Connie came over more or when he got to the Big Donut early in the mornings as a kid and got to taste the first fresh batch, right out the oven. That kind of skip is welcomed and it’s something Steven would mind having happening all the time. Guess, Kevin is starting to have that effect on Steven (probably due to how nice he’s being as of late and those stories and the voice.)

As Kevin talks some more, Steven sets in, taking another deep breath and surrendering to the allure of sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School is on my ass! This chapter was a little easier to write, but still a bit harder due to not feeling 100% proud about it. That and not having the best day, so my editing may be funky/missing errors. But, it’s out and it’s here!  
> The next two chapters will be Kevin centric again, since I did two Steven chapters in a row. Also, I might not update super fast because I like to write at all five chapters, then edit, then rewrite, then edit again, and finally re-write and polish it up. So as such, I will give you what’s upcoming for the next three as a treat! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
> 
> V. Pillow Talk: Embarrassing Stories— Kevin and Steven swap embarrassing stories, well maybe more Kevin than Steven; Kevin’s POV
> 
> VI. This is not a date!—Because Kevin needs to make that abundantly clear; Kevin’s POV
> 
> VII. Bubble Butt—Steven finds Kevin’s new interest on his butt flattering, but strange; Steven’s POV
> 
> Take care, guys!


	6. V. Embarrassing Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kevin’s POV: Kevin and Steven swap embarrassing stories, well maybe more Kevin than Steven.

Kevin’s eyes bore into the ceiling. 

He can hear Steven, who lays some ways from him on the bed. Little puffs of breath from the younger man are slowing down, turning into the familiar sound of whistling snores. Kevin feels Steven pull the covers closer to himself, and even how he nuzzles into the pillows.

Kevin swallows thickly. His heart beat is dropping somewhat, closing down from the high of having sex. He is getting bored of this.

Not of sex. No, the sex is amazing as always. It’s the after that’s getting boring. He’s tired of scrolling through his Gram in quiet while Steven sleeps only waking up when Kevin nudges him gently. The whole thing is too routine. Too disconnected and Kevin never thought he would be thinking of _that_.

“Hey,” Kevin calls out and then another: “I said, hey!”

“What?” Steven stirs, sheets heard rustling as he rolls over to face Kevin. “What is it?”

“I’m bored,” Kevin admits. Eyes leaving the ceiling, Kevin moves to lay on his side and face Steven. The other man’s hair is fluffy, curls sticking out in odd places, and Kevin finds it suits Steven (in a weird, cutesy kind of way). “I’m tired of watching you lounge around. Entertain me.”

“Entertain you?” Steven scoffs. “That’s pretty blunt. What makes you think you can order me around?”

“For one this is my house and for two I’ve entertained you already, so I only think it’s fair you do the same for me.” Kevin smirks and cocks up an eyebrow. “Don’t you agree?”

He likes seeing how dusty red Steven’s cheeks become. “Uh, I like to think we’ve entertained each other…” Steven’s eyes go to the sheets. “But, I don’t even know what you want me to do?”

Kevin doesn’t have the faintest idea. So, he thinks back to what he does know: pillow talk. Back when he was with his ex, after sex they used to talk. Sometimes about their day, or favorite movie, or just questions about each other. Pillow talk with Steven wasn’t going to be exactly the same. Far from it. But, it is akin to small talk kind of (Kevin has to just minus all the romantic junk he used to do...the thing that he misses).

“I guess we can have some small talk,” he says, and sighs softly. “How about you tell me something embarrassing you did as a kid?”

Steven chuckles, brushing some curls behind his ear. “That’s an interesting topic. Why that?”

“Because I’m bored?” Kevin just explained himself earlier. From the way Steven looks at him, he knows that it’s going to take more to satisfy him than that. “And I told you some stuff over the phone that one time.”

Steven stares at Kevin some more.

“I’m curious okay! Work with me here!” Kevin exclaims.

“Hm, alright I guess that’s fair,” Steven agrees. He then bites his lip and gives Kevin those shy doe eyes. Kevin already knows what Steven is going to ask before he even says it. “Do you mind if we, you know...we cuddle?” 

“Yeah. Fine,” Kevin says, already shifting closer to Steven. Steven brightens up, and moves too, meeting Kevin halfway. 

Somehow, Steven ends up on top; his curls tickle beneath Kevin’s chin. Being so close to someone, so warm and soft that it makes Kevin feel all nice inside. Cared for. His ears and cheeks begin to heat up. Steven lowly makes a noise of satisfaction, the vibrations which Kevin feels right under his chin and on his chest. 

Kevin gulps, face getting even hotter. “Uh, so about my question…”

“Oh, right! Let me see.” While Steven thinks, his hand drifts up to Kevin’s necklace, twisting the dogtags back and forth. Kevin notices Steven does that a lot: fidget. Mostly, it happens when Steven is either nervous—a yank of his hair, playing with his fingers, pulling on the sheets—or thinking, eyes rolled up.

“Oh! Okay, I have one!” Steven winces, perking up Kevin interest. “I was once fully naked on the boardwalk.”

Kevin’s eyes go wide. “I’m sorry, but what?”

“Yeah, it’s a long story…” Steven chuckles nervously.

“Well, I would like to hear it.” Kevin does a small pat on Steven’s back. “Tell me.”

“So this happened when I was twelve,” Steven starts out apprehensive and slow. “I put this gem shard into Peedee’s Frybo costume because he didn’t want to wear it—”

“Gem shard?” Kevin rakes his brain for what exactly is a gem shard. Gem culture is so different from everyday, human life. So foreign, despite it being a big part of Beach City. Kevin never noticed it before until he started hanging out with Steven. “Isn’t it a part of a broken gem? Like...what’s the word? Shattered, right?” 

Steven nods. “Yep. It was a piece from a shattered gem. Usually pieces of a gem are still sentient so when I put the shard in the Frybo costume, it came to life. Make it dance and hand out samples. Uh, until it started attacking people by stuffing fries down their throats.”

Kevin cocks up a little crooked smile. “I don't know how but that sounds both traumatizing and wacky. And how does you being naked come into play?” 

“It's comes in now if you’ll be patient,” Steven says, chuckling faintly. “Anyways, Pearl came and she was trying to take down Frybo. At one point, she got knocked down, losing some other shards she was holding. I thought the best way to help was to make my clothes come to life using the other shards, so they could fight Frybo. But that meant everything had to come off. Everything, everything.”

A deep cringe appears on Steven’s face and Kevin laughs, amused, at both that and such a story. “Everything including your underwear?” He feels Steven press his face more into his chest and he laughs again. “Really? Wow! You must have really high self-esteem.”

“Shut up! Ugh, that’s not even the worst part!” Steven muffles into Kevin’s chest before raising up. “I didn’t put on my clothes after the fight. I stayed naked for a while.”

“And long is a while?”

“Like a whole day up until night a while.”

Kevin snickers. “Yeah, I underestimated your confidence. For sure.” When Kevin was younger, he liked to prance around naked too, running from the maids who tried to get him to put on clothes. But that was in his house not in public. More and more Kevin is learning how much of an oddball Steven was (and still is). “Why did you even stay like that?”

“Honestly? I kind of liked walking around with my clothes in the background like some action hero. Also, being naked was kind of freeing? But, it wasn’t really the most embarrassing thing ever. I have something much worse.”

“Intriguing. You gonna tell me about it?”

“Yeah, well, I accidentally destroyed a whole ride. Once.”

Kevin frowns down at Steven, who looks back sheepishly. Things were getting weirder and weirder with Steven’s childhood (he doesn’t know if that’s necessarily a good or bad thing though). “I— did you just say that you destroyed a ride? You're exaggerating, right?”

Steven’s little chuckle says it all. “I wish. So twelve again. I was at Funland, riding the teacup ride. You know it; it’s the one that goes around and around in a circle. I was beginning to feel sick, so rather than projectile vomiting on everyone I...just jumped off the ride.”

“Jumped off? You didn’t think of flagging down the operator or shouting? Did you get hurt?” 

“No and no. I didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s fun which looking back I still did.” Steven does another nervous chuckle. “And uh, miraculously I didn’t break any bones. Which could be in part of breaking my fall on Mr. Smiley...which in turn made him break the operating machine. And that made the ride sort of explode. Just a little bit, haha.”

Steven truly is too nice, because if it was Kevin, he would have made a big stink over being let out. Steven’s niceness is going to get him killed one day (and that worries Kevin just a tiny bit). Kevin stares at Steven and laughs. “Shit, Steven! You got into a lot of trouble as a child.”

“I’m sort of a hazard,” Steven says. Kevin assumes that it's supposed to be a joke, but it falls flat from the way Steven’s smile waivers after. “But, enough about me. What about you?”

Kevin should have known this was going to happen. “About me what?”

“You know what I mean. Don’t you have any embarrassing memories from when you were a kid?”

“No.” There were a few hiccups here and there throughout his childhood. Kevin just wants to keep those memories locked away safely. In his mind. Only his mind.

“Oh come on! You must have something. Your childhood wasn’t that perfect!” Steven pouts. “It's only fair that you share too.”

“My childhood was perfect, thank you very much. Sorry, I’m so flawless.” Kevin softly sighs out, lips spreading out into a cocky simper.

“Seriously? Just tell me one story. One! Please, please, _please_!”

Time for Kevin to make up a lie. “Alright! One time in the third grade, I walked out the bathroom and there was toilet paper on my shoe. There. End of story.”

Steven’s eyes narrow. “Hm...that sounds a bit generic. I feel like you got that from a cartoon. Tell me something true.”

“Ugh, fine!” Kevin huffs out, his lips pursing together soon after. It takes him a short while to think of something not too revealing, but just embarrassing enough to please Steven. “Once when I was little I accidentally called Rachel ‘mom’.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad.” Steven glances up at Kevin, smiling softly. “It seems more adorable, than embarrassing.”

“It would be if my mom wasn’t right next to me when I said it.” Kevin cringes the more he recalls. “It was after one of my softball games. We won and I was so excited, I ran up to Rachel and hugged her saying, ‘we did it mommy!’”

Kevin sinks down more into the bed. Of course, if he realized his mother was standing right there, Kevin would have ran into her arms. But she nor his father rarely showed up to his games. When his mother was there, he thought at first she was a stranger, simply a part of the background until she spoke up.

“My mom looked so sad and asked if she would get a hug too. I kind of froze up.” And he cried. Kevin cried. “But, I was pretty embarrassed. I apologized to my mom profusely.”

“Aw, well you shouldn’t feel bad for it,” Steven replies, absently still twisting Kevin’s necklace. “I did something similar with Pearl when I was younger. I asked her if she was my mom. She got so blue!” Steven lightly titters. “But, I think Rachel didn’t mind. It really shows how you saw her as someone special. Like another mom.”

“Yeah,” Kevin says. Then another, “yeah.” Because Rachel was like another mom. She was always there for him, taking care of him when his parents weren't. 

He misses her sometimes—how she would call him her little _lapin_ , the shadow puppets she would make alongside with him at night as they both giggled under their breaths, and every morning she would ask him how he slept never get mad when Kevin replied back in broken French that he slept fine, _merci_. 

“Yeah, she was.” Kevin snickers. “There was this one time actually. I was ten and it was my birthday party. I invited my whole class and I was on this trampoline—” His snicker becomes a laugh. “Oh gosh, this was so stupid! I was jumping, and there was this girl I liked who was with me. I wanted to impress her _so_ bad. I told her ‘watch this!’ And tried to do a backflip. Ended up falling off and breaking my arm. I still remember the crunch!”

“Ouch!” Steven hisses, pulling in his right arm suddenly as if he felt it. “That sounds more painful than embarrassing!”

“Eh.” Kevin shrugs. “It was. But, at the time I was more focused on how my crush saw that than being hurt. Funny thing is I don’t remember her name.”

Kevin’s next laugh is mixed in with Steven’s. “Anyways, Rachel took care of me. I think she even drove me to the hospital.”

“Where were your parents?” Steven questions, eyebrows knitting close to form his classic caterpillar look. “Did they know about you getting hurt?”

“Yeah, eventually. They were just busy.” Both were working: Kevin’s mother on a sketch for some type of clothing and his father in a business call. They only knew about the injury after, when Kevin was at the hospital. (He faintly remembers that one of the other maids might have gotten into the house, returning looking somber when whispering into Rachel’s ear, something that made her face twist in disgust before halting him off into her car.)

It didn’t bother Kevin (too) much, because Rachel was the first one who came to his aid, immediately shielding his teary face and wails into her chest to which he was grateful for. He didn’t want anyone seeing him as weak as he was already.

“I was fine though, so stop with the caterpillar brows, Caterpillar.” Kevin pokes Steven right between the small space of his eyebrows. Whether it’s by the nickname or Kevin’s actions, Steven drops his gaze, his mouth turning into a little pout. The look is both amusing and adorable to Kevin.

“Sorry,” Steven says, dropping Kevin’s necklace. “It just seems like your parents were always so busy.” Steven brushes some hair behind his ear, looking up timidly.

“They run businesses, Steven. Of course, they're busy.” Kevin (really _really_ ) doesn’t want to get into it— much less with Steven— so he quickly thinks of something else to say. “After I broke my leg, I tried to get some guy I liked to sign my cast. Told him I broke it while doing parkour”

Steven frowns again, this time looking more perplexed than worried. “Why did you use parkour as an excuse?”

“Because I was ten, and this guy was a seventh grader. I was trying to be all cool and mysterious, not that it mattered much. The one time my mom picked me up and she had to throw me off when I was in the zone.” Kevin winces, tittering lightly. “She scolded me for lying right there! Then, proceeded to correct me and the guy—in great detail—about how I actually broke my leg including my crying and everything! Ugh, by the end the kid looked so unimpressed. I wanted to disappear.”

“Aw.” Steven chuckles before speaking. “If it makes you feel better, I’m not much of a casanova either.”

Kevin raises an eyebrow. “Uh, who said I wasn’t one?”

“Oh, yes Kevin, I _totally_ forgot how irresistible you are.” Steven rolls his eyes.

“I am! Otherwise, you wouldn’t be begging for me to fuck you all the damn time.”

“I don’t beg!”

Kevin smirks. “Oh really?” He clears his throat, and then begins to put on his best Steven impression, making his voice extra high. “‘Oh, Kevin, please fuck me~ yeah, yeah! Right there~ Oh, baby, Kev—’”

“Okay, okay! I get it! Point taken!” Steven shouts, his face painted red. “Do you really have to be such a dick?”

“Well, you know what they say: you are what you eat,” Kevin remarks. He is pleased to feel Steven squirm, all bothered; as always, Steven is free quality entertainment (and Kevin doesn’t think he’ll ever get old of that.)

“Okay, no, we are moving on!” Steven rolls off of Kevin to the side. He rests his cheek on his hand, calming down from his fluster. “So, as I was saying, when I first met Connie I tried to woo her which went bad.”

“Hold on. You? You tried to flirt?” Kevin eyes Steven up and down. Steven definitely didn’t seem like the flirty type. Or rather, he seemed to have either two extremes: super duper nice guy extreme—the type of guy which is so nice that your parents don’t even bother to remind you about leaving the door open—or lovey-dovey fairytale _“let’s-get-married-now”_ guy extreme.

“Flirting for you seems like a step down from proposing,” Kevin blurts out without thinking. He immediately freezes, waiting for Steven’s reaction. 

Surprisingly, Steven chuckles; his cheeks barely glow a light pink. “Yeah, back then I was more toned down. Though, I still was very fond of weddings. But anyways, when I first saw Connie it was during this parade I was in. She dropped her glow bracelet, so I picked it up and kept it with the hopes that one day I would see her again to return it. Which I did.”

Steven stops to laugh, shaking his head a little. “Stars, I was such a dork! She was reading a book on the beach near my house. I rode my bike over to her wanting to be all cool and catch her attention. But, then my wheels ended up getting stuck and I fell and she saw! I didn’t know what to do except run away and cry!”

“That sounds like something you would do.” Kevin chuckles.

“Am I that predictable to you?” Steven jokes, tone pretending to sound offended. Kevin nods, which earns him a light push from Steven. “Shut up! I am so not! Anyways, I ended up trapping her in a bubble later.”

“You trapped her in a bubble? Steven, was it that serious?” Kevin jokes.

“Hey, no!” Steven laughs, pushing Kevin again. “ A rock was going to crush and I meant to push her out the way, okay! Bubbling her happened by accident. Oh! And the whole time we were trying to get out, I was flirting so bad talking about how cool the Crystal Gems were and my ‘magical destiny’. Gosh, I was so dumb!” 

Kevin shrugs. “Eh, could be worse. She didn’t outright reject you or anything. I remember once when I was younger I wrote a love poem to this girl I liked, which was really bad.”

“Seriously?” Steven’s eyebrows go up to his hairline, and Kevin instantly sees how Steven’s brown eyes sparkle in interest. Oh no. “You wrote a love poem? You? Really?”

“Um, yeah…” Kevin admits because he might as well. “It was when I was in the fourth grade. I had this huge crush on this girl in my class. I even remember this one’s name; it was Emilie. I wanted to tell her without her knowing it was me, at least not yet.”

“So I—” Kevin smiles-laughs. “Heh, I practiced writing in cursive for a week, that way she won’t find out my handwriting. Then, I wrote out the poem. I really wanted to impress her so I think I even wrote it in some type of sonnet. I still remember it to this day.”

“Really?” Steven smiles. “Can I hear it?”

The smile drops from Kevin’s face. Shit, he should not have said that last part. Of course, Steven being all romantic and touchy-feely would want to know. Why won’t he want Kevin to recite the stupid poem? Well, Kevin just won’t give in. 

A ‘no’ is right there on the tip of his tongue. But then, Steven’s brown eyes turn pleading and his smile grows, getting more brighter. More sweeter. It makes Kevin aware how despite Steven lying a few centimeters away, he somehow can feel the warmth radiating off the man’s body. A curl happens to fall from behind Steven’s ear and he twirls it briefly before pushing it back behind his ear timidly. 

Kevin swallows his ‘no’; he can’t resist that fucking face Steven is putting on. “Alright, fine! You win.”

Steven squeals, and his smile gets even bigger, the corners of his eyes crinkling. Kevin’s laugh comes out a little faint, crackling at the end. His heartbeat quickens and he feels as if he’s back in high school, doing a presentation in front of the whole class. “Just remember I was in the sixth grade, okay?”

“Of course! Thank you so much!” Steven nods, eyes shining. That doesn’t make Kevin feel any better.

“Um, okay then…” Kevin takes a breath, trying to calm down his heart beating like a damn car hitting three-hundred miles per hour on a race track! He has nothing to be afraid of; it’s just Steven. 

Just Steven. But, Kevin has to close his eyes because something about looking directly at Steven is nerve-wrecking. (Odd, considering Steven is the most compassionate person Kevin has ever meant; who cries about snakes not having arms, after all?)

Kevin clears his throat, then recites:

_“Darling Emilie,_

_A beauty such as you,_

_Is such a rarity._

_How I love you,_

_Golden hair to your perfume,_

_I want to make you my boo._

_I wish to kiss you my sweet,_

_If only I wasn’t so meek.”_

By the end of it, Kevin’s face is hot. It brought him back, reminding him of how he was: an awkward, little eleven year old, writing all of that down at his desk with his only source of light being the moon’s streaming through the window blinds because he was such a masterful poet. Talk about cringy.

Kevin keeps his eyes close for a moment before opening them slowly. What is revealed is a half-smiling Steven; his smile doesn’t give off a sense of being polite nor trying to hold in a laugh. Which makes sense. Kevin kind of expected Steven to be nice. Just not this nice. 

“That’s...that poem is really cute. I liked it.”

Kevin groans. His head flops down on the bed, eyes closing. Great, this is worse than just Steven pretending to be nice: Steven is pitying him. “Universe, I know it’s bad. Don’t patronize me!”

“No, no! I’m not! Really! I think for sixth grade it sounded really good.”

“Sure it does.”

“I’m serious!” Steven exclaims. Kevin feels his arm being shook; he still doesn’t open his eyes. 

He hears Steven’s little frustrated huff. “I’m not going to make fun of you if that’s what you're worried about. I honestly thought your poem was cute. It was a little cheesy…” Steven admits—to which Kevin already knew that— then add on quickly, voice somewhat soft. “But! But, I think being cheesy is nice! It’s sweet and if I would have gotten something like that I would be flattered and Emilie must have been too, even if she didn’t return your feelings…”

Oh, that makes Kevin laugh. “You have no idea!”

“Wait? Why?” Even with his eyes closed, Kevin can picture Steven’s frown. “What happened? What do you mean?”

“Oh gosh! Okay, so let me just start from the beginning. I was in the same homeroom as Emilie so it was pretty easy to slip her note into her desk. I just had to arrive a little early before morning assembly. But, afterwards I was feeling super nervous and I didn’t want to see Emilie’s reaction. I tried to fake a stomach ache, but Mrs. Burn—my bitch of a homeroom teacher—won’t let me go to the nurse.” Which sucked, considering the one time Kevin had good reason to skip class, she didn’t fall for it.

“By the time my little back and forth was over with her, I walked right in to see Emilie reading the poem out loud to her friends. And to some of the girls in class.” More like all of the girls in Kevin’s homeroom. They, along with a few guys, were all huddled up by Emilie and her desk, buzzing with curiosity. It had made Kevin’s stomach turn more.

“I didn’t want to look suspicious, so I kind of looked interested. You know, I didn’t go over there obviously, but I sat at my desk watching and looking all surprised as if I was wondering who could have written it.” Kevin’s stomach tightens, beginning to feel similar to how it was when he was there. “She was laughing a little. Because of course, it was bad! It was super bad!”

He can see Emilie: her face twisted up alongside the others, laughing. Not a _“haha-so-funny”_ laugh. Nothing like her usual laugh. It was more high-pitched and eerie and _mean_. She laughed, and she said something. Words Kevin doesn’t quite remember, but he does remember the feeling as if his heart was being pulled, harder and harder as she crumpled up the note into a little ball. His heart snapped when he watched her make a show of tossing it into the trash.

Kevin would give a big fuck you to Mrs. Burn, but he knows it’s his fault (he can’t believe he was so stupid to be open to someone he barely knew). Even back then, he knew it. Which was why—instead of laying his head on the desk pretending to sleep throughout the period—he left disregarding Mrs. Burn’s warning of writing him up yet again, for the restroom to sink down in a stall and cry.

But, Steven doesn’t need all those pesky details. Kevin forces out a little chuckle, setting his voice to be nonchalant. “The poem was bad and I agree which is why I didn’t mind when she threw it out. I would have done the same. I don’t blame her.”

“Oh my gosh, Kevin,” Steven says with a voice so soft. “I didn’t know. That sounds so mean.”

Steven’s words finally get Kevin to open his eyes. “Yeah, well sixth graders are mean. Like I said, I don’t blame her. The poem was tacky and badly written. I got over it the next day.”

“Yeah, but what she did was still mean,” Steven says, tone dipping into anger, something Kevin is surprised at. It’s not everyday Steven gets this mad on Kevin’s behalf. “It was hurtful regardless and I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Haha, thanks Caterpillar.” Kevin watches Steven go from anger to bashful, cheeks turning red and he averts his eyes. It’s cute and Kevin is definitely for sure going to milk the shit out of the little nickname to calm Steven down (or persuade him). “But, I have others that I consider worse than that.”

“There’s worse than that?” Steven’s eyes go back to Kevin, fully concerned. “Oh no. Kev…”

Kevin immediately calms Steven down. “Okay, okay. Maybe I’m engaging just a little. But have you ever tried to pretend you know something, like to fit in or go along with everyone else when in actuality you have no idea what’s going on?”

“Oh, yes I know exactly what you mean!” Steven laughs, cringing hard. “I remember doing that with Connie’s friends. That didn’t go so well.”

“You went skating, right?” Kevin heard this before in one of Steven’s pre-sex rants. “And you fell on your ass?”

“It was my face! They all knew how to skate and I was being such a dummy trying to pretend to know how. I just didn’t want to be anymore weirder.”

“Pretty sure you could have asked for help.” Kevin chortles and Steven just groans, moving closer. Kevin readjusts without another thought, pulling Steven to his chest. 

“I should have, but it’s like you said I wanted to fit in. And before, they asked me typical teenage shit that I couldn’t answer. I said eighteen as a grade I was in.” Steven groans, pushing his face into Kevin’s chest.

“Oh my god!” Kevin says, laughing out. “That’s so fucking adorable!”

“Shut the fuck up! No it wasn’t, asshole!” Steven’s plea just makes Kevin laugh harder, his whole body shaking.

“No, no, it’s adorable. You really didn’t go to school.” Kevin snorts, chuckling some more lightly at Steven whining out for Kevin to ‘shut up’, and eventually he does calm down. “See, you could have played up the adorable, clueless act and been fine. Me, on the other hand, I didn’t have that.”

“Oh, really? I want to hear it,” Steven says, and he begins to play with Kevin's necklace once more.

“Alright, so this happened during my freshman year of college. Winter break. I can-I can, oh man!” Kevin chuckles, placing a hand to his forehead. “You’ve never seen me drunk-drunk really have you?”

“Not that I know of. Why? Was it really that bad?”

Kevin does a nod, humming shortly. “Yes. I am a stupid drunk. My brain doesn’t work right when I get to that point of being wasted.”

He stops to chuckle again, hearing Steven’s little sounds of amusement. Pleased, Kevin rests his hand to Steven's side, feeling up and down the man’s slight curve. “But, it was this big fancy business, get-together sort of thing with my whole family—my aunts, my uncles, some of my cousins, and I think even my grandma was there—and then there was my dad’s business partners and their families too. So, this thing was huge.”

“I didn’t want to be there, but my parents made me go. I mostly stuck to the corners of the room during the first half. Champagne was being served and I was damned to think I wasn't going to have any being stuck there.”

“Why did you not want to be there?” Steven interrupts, voice hushed. He abandons the necklace, and his fingers move up lightly to the nape of Kevin’s neck. He begins to gently play with the hair there. The touch feels personal (and intimate), but quite nice so Kevin doesn’t protest.

“Because I found it boring. Everything is too...perfect. Like it’s manufactured, you know,” Kevin answers, and Steven nods, his features changing to indicate that he does know what Kevin is talking about. It’s something they share, Kevin realizes: unwillingly following along when in situations. Keeping up an image. 

Kevin continues. “I drank a lot of champagne. A lot, a lot. By the time dinner was being served, I was very out of it according to my cousin, Sammy. I kind of remember some of what was happening. There was chatter, small talk, discussion, and then suddenly everyone switched to French.”

Which Kevin remembers to be _very_ confusing while he was still _very_ drunk. He just sat there at the table for what seemed like forever, stunned, watching everyone conversate in a language he faintly could understand. At the time, fucked up as he was, Kevin thought he was transported into some weird artsy French movie.

“I was so out of it. From what Sammy told me after, a family was having a hard time speaking English so everyone just collectively decided to switch to their native language. I had no idea so I just sat there til someone addressed me. I didn’t want anyone to know I was drunk so I just...went along with it. Said some very wrong things.”

Steven snorts. “Oh, boy. What did you say?”

“A couple of raunchy stuff. I always struggled a bit with French, but when I’m drunk my brain works like a potato. Used a couple— _a lot_ of verbs in the wrong way. For example...” Kevin clears his throat. His now totally sober brain brings up the correct phrasing in French; he says it out, pronunciation and words all in order.

As always when Kevin speaks a foreign language, people get so awestruck, staring at him all impressed and Steven is no exception. “Whoa! What did you say?”

“Rough translation: I am very excited to meet you. But see, there’s something called false cognates in French. Which drunk me forgot so I used the wrong verb in the wrong context. _Exité_ would be fine in another sentence, but when I use it in this sentence…” Kevin says the exact sentence in mind, the one which in his cousin’s words, made his mother gasp and his father face red. 

“So...what does that mean?”

“It means basically I told the person that I was very horny.”

Steven blinks, silently staring at Kevin until he cracks a smile. He bites down on his lower lip, as if trying to appear polite, but he can’t help to let a few giggles and snickers escape. Kevin lets out a huff of amusement at Steven's failed attempt to keep his composer. “It’s okay, you can laugh.”

Steven doesn’t need to be told twice, laughing right into Kevin’s chest. Kevin senses how big Steven’s smile is and that sets off a chain reaction, making him laugh as well. Through his giggles, Kevin talks. “I was so drunk, I had no idea what I said was wrong! It got silent for a second, but instead of shutting up I kept going! Thought I was doing great until my dad dragged me away from the table!”

“How? What?” Steven gasps out between his laughs. He manages to calm down, though his voice has a hint of airy breathlessness. “What else did you say?”

“According to my cousin, I somehow said that I had a boner, I am very well-endowed down there, my food is a slut—which I don’t even know how! I think I was trying to say the food was terrible which it was—and get this, there was this girl. Such a cute girl and I was attempting to flirt with her. I thought it went well, but my cousin later told me I was telling her over and over again how I was having an orgasm, which is yikes! I’m usually more smoother than that.”

Steven laughs again, his whole face brightening up. It’s as if Steven is glowing, not pink, but just radiating with happiness and Kevin doesn’t want that energy to go away, so he keeps going. “Oh, but that’s just the old stuff! I have something much, much worse.”

“You keep saying that,” Steven snickers out, “you keep saying that there’s worse.”

“Oh, but there is! Okay, so because I like you so much you get to be the lucky one to hear this story…”

Steven simmers down enough to gasp out dramatically. “Wow, that is so flattering! How ever will I thank you for gracing me with this story?”

“Wow! Being sassy? Okay! Never mind then…” Kevin pretends to roll away from Steven.

“No! Please tell me!” Steven exclaims, giggly. Kevin rolls back, breathing out a smile. From all that laughing, Steven’s curls have fallen from behind his ears, and Kevin pushes some back in place (because that only seems like the cordial, friendly thing to do, right? )

“Alright, alright!” Kevin agrees, getting Steven to quiet down, and starts. “So, this literally happened like a semester ago. I met this guy. This really hot guy. He was in one of my classes, and I managed to talk to him. You know, work that Kevin magic—”

“Stars, really? Kevin magic?”

“Yes! Don’t laugh and don’t interrupt! It isn’t becoming,” Kevin playfully scolds, and Steven rolls his eyes in response, his lips spreading into a faint smile. 

“So...hot guy,” Kevin begins again. “We ended up talking and he mentioned he needed help in Spanish class. Now, my Spanish _es muy bueno y caliente,_ so I offered to tutor him. He said yes and the next day we proceeded to study in the library. Everything was going great. He was laughing at my jokes, got a little hand touching action, but well...”

Kevin drops his voice to a whisper, chuckling softly. “I had to fart.”

Steven looks at him, eyes wide. He laughs with a slight whine. “Kevin, no! Why?”

“Look, okay! You don’t understand—”

“No, I fucking do! I know where this is going!”

“Ssh! Just wait!” Kevin tries to get Steven to quiet down, sshing him some more, but Steven wouldn’t shut up. Steven is at a fully on guffaw, shoulders shaking and grin so big. It’s intoxicating, and Kevin chortles, placing a finger on Steven’s mouth. “Sssh! Sssh! St-stop!”

Steven’s fingers wrap around Kevin’s wrist, holding on like he wants to pull Kevin’s hand away. Whether it’s because he’s still all giggly or just invested in the rest of the story, Steven doesn’t move it away. His fingers stay there, just holding on, and he manages to calm his laughter down to quiet chuckles. Kevin takes that as a win. “Okay, so I think I ate something bad for breakfast. Who knows. But, I needed to fart. Really, really bad. It was that kind of fart that makes your stomach do that gurgling noise—I just had to fart, Steven! ”

“So I started to talk really loud. Because-because I thought maybe it was one of those silent farts—but, oh shit! It wasn’t! At all! And-and it was really quiet in the library, so he heard it! _Fuck!_ ” Kevin is coming undone at the stitches, and so is Steven, finally moving Kevin’s finger away to laugh out.

“Oh, oh! It was so loud! It was—” Kevin can’t finish. Back then, it was so embarrassing. He really wanted to be anywhere except by such a hot guy. He promised himself to keep it between him and him only (and technically the guy too, but whatever). Saying it out loud, however, is really funny to Kevin. Kind of cathartic too. And as strange as it is, he finds it even more hilarious and giddy at how much Steven laughs, all happy.

Bubbly and excited, Kevin grabs Steven harder into a hug. Kevin laughs and snorts, trying to finish his sentence, only to fail. With energy he didn’t know he had, he rolls over on his back taking Steven with him. Through his teary eyes, Kevin sees Steven throwing his head back then forward, bubbly laughing on Kevin’s chest. More and more happiness builds inside of Kevin.

Kevin chokes out some more of his story amongst his laughter. “It was loud! Very loud. Like-like!” He puffs out his cheeks and puckers his lips, blowing out fast air to emulate a crude fart; the act makes Steven laugh harder, calling out ‘stop’ and ‘please’.

“It was like that! Just like that!” Kevin wheezes out. “Shit, he heard it! And the worst—the worst part was that it smelled bad! It was loud and deadly!”

“Stars, Kev! Why didn’t you just go to the restroom?” Steven hollers out.

“I don’t know! I don’t know! I wanted to be cool—”

“Seriously! Kev, c’mon on!”

“Hey, if you saw him you would understand!”

“Yeah, sure. I totally would have farted in front of my crush! How smooth.”

“Whatever!” Kevin sighs out the last of his laughter. “But honestly, I have no idea why I didn’t excuse myself either. I guess I also turn stupid when I’m around someone I like. And I’m also guessing the guy felt bad for me because we ended up making out. After though, he avoided me in class. Won’t answer any of my texts either.”

“Ouch,” Steven hisses.

Kevin’s response is a titter. His fingers featherily brush up and down Steven’s back, mapping out the man’s body. Steven’s little hum sounds like purr, and it makes Kevin laugh. Up close like this, Kevin takes in more of Steven's features: his button nose, rosy-red cheeks, and curly hair. His dark brown hair—something Kevin never really noticed before— is more unruly than ever. Steven sucks on his lower lip, smiling little, looking right at Kevin through his lashes. 

Something about Steven’s demeanor is more than just cute. Kevin can’t quite place his finger on it, but Steven is just more. _Maybe charming_ , he thinks. Which makes sense considering Steven’s technically a prince (and that makes Kevin chuckle again. The thought of Steven wearing a cape and crown, singing some fairytale like song is both ridiculous, yet totally probable).

But, there’s something else besides that.

Steven lets out a soft sigh, and starts messing with Kevin’s necklace again. That snaps Kevin out of his trance. No wonder he’s been out of it: their super close again; their chests pressed together. It’s creating some intimate atmosphere which is messing with Kevin’s head, making him too focused on certain details (and he does _not_ want to go there with Steven. No way, no how will he ever go there).

“So…” Kevin trails off to clear his throat. “Do you have anything to top my stuff?”

“Nothing as of recent, no. Maybe trapping everyone during graduation?” Steven rolls his eyes up, and mumbles, “But you already heard of that one. Hm…”

“How about your first kiss? I know you didn’t kiss Connie,” Kevin says, and he feels how Steven stiffens up his body. Connie is still a sore subject it seems like; Kevin gets on with it. “But, have you kissed anyone?”

“No. You kind of was my first official one.”

“Shit, really?” Kevin asks. Steven nods, and Kevin scoffs. He knew Steven was a late bloomer, a bit naïve, something which was clearly revealed when they were first starting out. (Steven literally jumped when Kevin first tried to finger him, all flustered and stammering about how “that’s part is for pooping”.) But kissing? Everyone had their first kiss from somebody.

Kevin’s next words get a little caught in his throat. “You seriously never had your first kiss? At all?”

Steven’s cheeks change from red to pink. “No? But, aren’t you my first kiss?” His voice becomes meek. “Is that bad?”

“Well, it’s…” Kevin won’t say it’s bad until normal circumstances if he met Steven through a dating app or at school or somewhere other than at a bar, where he was horny and drunk. Being Steven’s “first kiss” like that makes Kevin a little uncomfortable because unlike when he’s sober, he kind of just tries his best to be a fantastic kisser. He really hopes it didn’t use too much tongue or spit.

Then again, would Steven tell him the truth if he did? And why does Kevin even care? Their first time was probably a distant memory to Steven at this point. (Which doesn’t make Kevin feel any better, strangely enough.)

Kevin laughs brittely. “It’s not bad. Not really. It’s just I really don't think our kiss counts as a first.”

The pink disappears from Steven’s face. He frowns, looking up at Kevin with those painfully cute doe eyes. “Why not?” 

“Why not?” Kevin repeats, and he starts to find Steven on top of him hot. He swallows, his eyes going to the dresser across the room. “First kisses... they usually have romantic intentions behind them. They aren’t just for foreplay like we do.”

“Oh,” Steven says faintly. Kevin’s eyes go back to Steven, whose eyes have that same gleam of interest when he asked about the love poem. “So, how was your first kiss?”

“My first kiss technically speaking is something I don’t count since I was in middle school. Kissed this girl at my eight grade ‘prom’. ” Kevin does air quotes with his right hand, resting it back down on Steven’s back when he’s done. “I mean it was okay.”

And it was okay. Up until he felt the girl’s tongue. “Actually never mind. It wasn’t okay.” Kevin wrinkles his nose. “She swirled her tongue so much around my mouth. My chin was wet by the end. I didn’t say anything because that’s how I thought kisses were at the time. Heh, I was so dumb.”

“There’s nothing dumb about it. You were just a kid,” Steven assures. He then chews on his lower lip for a second, and his eyes go down to Kevin’s necklace when he speaks. “So about your first kiss. Your real one. How was that?”

“That one?” Kevin laughs at the thought of his first true kiss. “It matched my first real date which was...uh it was something.”

“That was bad too?” Steven meets Kevin’s eyes again, one of his eyebrows cocked up. He smirks. “For someone whose quote on quote a casanova, it certainly sounds like you have a hard time in the romantic department.”

Kevin’s eyebrows go up. The more he hangs out with Steven, the more he begins to experience the guy’s snark. He likes hearing that little unfiltered part of Steven. Makes him more human. 

But, Kevin can’t let Steven get away entirely with it, so he opens his mouth to say his one little remark; he gets interrupted by the sound of a phone buzzing somewhere on the floor amongst their clothes. Instinctively, he adjusts himself a little higher on the bed and begins to look for his phone until Steven shakes his head. “It’s mine. Probably one of the Gems. Keep going with your story.”

“You sure?” Kevin asks, his eyebrows dropping to form a frown. “I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“It’s fine. I told them I was hanging out with Sour Cream at his college. Also, mentioned about the terrible connection there, so they know I won’t answer right away.”

“You came up with everything, huh? Impressive.”

“Yeah, I’m creative.” Steven says, his tone indicating to Kevin that he’s not really proud of it. Steven tugs slightly on Kevin’s necklace, voice back to cheery. “But I want to hear your story! I like hearing them.”

“Of course you do! I am Kevin after all.” Kevin hears Steven’s little groan, and he chuckles (but he finds it nice to know Steven likes his stories. He really does). “So, I liked this girl. Like really, really liked her.”

“Really?” Steven hums, looking coy. “You’ve been saying that a lot about everyone. And you only used the word really twice in that sentence.”

“Ha, well I apologize.” Kevin lowers his smile down to something much more genuine. “I meant to say that I really, really, _really_ did like her. More than Emilie, more than that seventh grader or that guy from class. This was for real; I super-duper liked-liked her.”

“She was so pretty.” Kevin sighs out, and his voice turns hushed. “It was like love at first sight as cheesy as that is—”

“I don’t think it’s cheesy. I can’t believe you believe that though.”

“Wow, and I would have never guessed you believed it.” Kevin rolls his eyes, smiling when Steven lets out a little ‘hey’, and continues with his story. “But, she was beautiful. Gorgeous. And every period, first period, I was sweating sitting next to her. She was more than just a face though. She was smart. So smart.”

“Her notes were perfect, besides all her little doodles. Hehe, she mostly drew like buildings and stuff. Never people.” 

Kevin distinctively remembers that because one day when he got the guts during class he slid a note on her side of the table: ‘ _can you draw me?’_ Wordless, she turned the note over to the blank side and looked at him briefly before launching into her drawing. By the time she was done, Kevin’s portrait looked like such a hot mess that he covered his mouth, hiding his snickers and she cracked a smile too. She whispered, _“I’m sorry. I don’t do people.”_

Normally, Kevin would have been insulted. That day he found it endearing.

“I got paired up with her for a science project. Some crap about making the fastest bottle boat. But she just knew exactly what to do. How to construct the whole thing without any outlining or planning. It made sense; she told me how she wanted to get into engineering. She definitely had the mind for it.” Kevin rests the back of his hand on his forehead, his smile growing. “Man, you have no idea how much I wanted to impress her. I actually wrote the report part. The full seven pages! Fucking hate writing essays and I hate group projects.”

“Seven pages don’t sound like a lot,” Steven comments and he lets go of Kevin’s necklace.

“Well, it’s a lot to me!” Kevin exclaims, tittering. “But, after that though I wanted to get to know her more seriously. I always saw her waiting to get pick-up at the front of the school. She was always with her friends though, so I never had a good opening except this one time. This one perfect time when I got off from detention and it was raining and she was there alone.”

When he saw her huddled under the school’s overhanging entryway, his heart was beating fast. It was akin to the same feeling he got whenever he was racing and sharply turned a corner at the right moment, not losing speed and barely missing falling off the cliffside.

“I asked her if she needed a ride and she said yes, which made me so happy; I wanted to scream so bad!” Kevin admits, hiding part of his face in his arm. “And everything was going great. She was admiring my car and we were talking up...then my X-12 had to do some weird shit and stop in the middle of the fucking road, argh!”

“We had to wait for the tow to come, but it wasn’t too bad.” At the time Kevin thought it was. Thankfully, she was cool about it or maybe as Kevin thinks about it she was actually just as nervous as he was. 

Kevin laughs and removes his arm, laying it to his side. “We talked while we waited. Got to know her some more but I still wanted to ask her out, and I was really scared like my hands were shaking, Steven. My hands were shaking and I asked her out and she said yes. Made me so happy.”

“I’m glad,” Steven replies quietly. Another buzz comes out from somewhere in the room and Steven doesn’t move except to say, “keep going.”

“Sure. So for our date we went to see this movie. God, I forget what it was about! I was too freaked out really to pay attention. I stuffed my face with so much popcorn!” If Kevin was thinking clearly he would have done the old “ _yawn-and-throw-an-arm-over-her-shoulder”_ trick or maybe tried to hold her hand when she reached inside the popcorn bowl too. Instead, he just sat there, all sweaty and hands in the popcorn bowl.

“After I tried to hold her hand, but I was so greasy. She had to wipe her hand on her jeans. And I know you're going to say how that wasn’t bad at all. Just wait until you hear about dinner.”

Steven doesn’t say anything which still gets Kevin to wince. “Everything was going good at first. She laughed at my jokes and she even flirted with me a little. And right when I finally go to hold her hand I spill her drink all over her like an idiot!”

Steven smiles, faintly doing a small amused hum. Kevin laughs shakily. Suddenly, he can’t quite look at Steven so his eyes drift back to the dresser. “She was cool about it though. Which is so like her. She was always going with the flow of things. After everything I drove her home, walked her to the door, and we said goodbye, but we just kind of stood there. Just looking at each other. There was an opening, so I just thought ‘fuck it’ and kissed her.”

As soon as he did, he immediately understood the whole ‘fireworks’ analogy. That thing people talk about when they kiss for the first time and get that spark. Kevin felt it right in his stomach.

His hands cupping her flushed cheek and fingers barely touching her hair. He tasted her lip gloss: strawberries, so sweet he became greedy. He turned his head more, opening his mouth wider and for the first time that night, he grew bold as his tongue began to play against hers. When she moaned and her arms held onto Kevin, the inside of his stomach began doing happy flips.

Then, it switched to gurgling. Kevin thought it was the spark until something started to crawl up his throat.

“It was perfect right up to when I threw up...”

Eyes wide, Steven gasps. Kevin finishes before Steven can ask the question. “And no I didn’t throw up in her mouth. Just on her shoes.”

“Yikes. Oh my god!” Steven finally says, looking embarrassed for Kevin.

“Yeah...honestly I didn’t expect her to talk to me after that date.”

“But she did. Didn’t she?”

“She did.” Kevin smiles fondly. “The next day was a Monday so I stayed home because I couldn’t face seeing her, but she texted me right during first period. Asking if I was okay.”

Kevin was going to ignore her messages. He thought she was just being polite so when he did come back to school it would be less awkward. So he did up until she asked if he was doing anything after school. He texted back a simple _‘no_ ’ to which he got a reply of _‘are you sure bc today’s homework is super hard😉’_ and that made him laugh, texting back a _‘sure’_.

And then she did come after school, her backpack chalked full of their homework and they did some of it together in his room. He doesn’t remember if it was him or her, one second they were going over algebraic equations, and the next they were making out. When they pulled away, she asked if Kevin wanted to go out again that weekend. And they did go out that weekend.

And the next. Again, and again, and again.

“We started dating after that,” Kevin says. “I always liked her...she saw me for me. Never anything else.” 

She liked Kevin, really liked him and that’s what made him happy. She wanted to get to know him. Not his car, not his house, not the immense amount of favors he could do for her nor things he could buy. She only liked him, the true Kevin. The Kevin that was raw, and real, and himself. And he liked how he could be that around her. 

“I loved Sabrina,” Kevin whispers because looking back it’s scary to realize how much he loved someone so much beyond himself.

“I know the feeling,” Steven says just as soft. “You ever wonder what it would be like if you were still with her?”

“Yeah, I do sometimes.” Another buzz comes from Steven’s phone, punctuating the brief silence following Kevin’s words. Steven doesn’t stir. Not one bit. 

Kevin runs his hand up and down Steven’s back. No one is here except them, Steven will never tell anyone, and Kevin likes how Steven quietly takes in things. So, he lets go. 

“I planned for her to move in with me. Sometimes I wonder what that would be like. She’d probably get on me about leaving my room a mess sometimes or ordering out a lot. We would go to college together. Get married. Buy a bigger house. Then, think over kids.”

“You want kids?” Steven huffs out a noise of amusement. “You do not look like a family man.”

“Whatever. You don’t know that.” Regardless of the little insult, Kevin matches Steven’s little smile. “I really wanted to be with her.”

The more Kevin talks, the more he thinks. The more he thinks, the more his voice begins to fade, becoming faint and choked up. “I don’t know if I’ll ever find someone like her again. No matter how much I try. I wish it didn’t end like it did.”

Because if Kevin just minded his own damn business, didn't look at her phone, and believed her when she said there was no one else. Didn’t bombard her with his tearful confession of love and trust and all that emotional shit. If he wasn’t so open. So weak. and emotional. Just so much, too much, then maybe she would be here, on top of him instead of Steven.

Sweat is starting to accumulate on Kevin’s back. “Hey, Steven?”

“Hm?” Brown eyes bore into Kevin's, all soft and bright. Steven’s eyes are like a nebula. Or a blackhole, absorbing everything there is about Kevin, the more and more he spills his feelings out.

Kevin doesn’t know how Steven does it or why he falls for it so easily, but he’s not going down that route again. “You’re making me sweat. Get off.”

“Oh! Sorry.” Steven rolls over right at the same time his phone buzzes and he groans. “Fuck. I guess it must be really important then.”

Steven gives Kevin an (adorable) apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I might have to go.”

Deep down Kevin doesn’t want Steven to go. He rather not be retelling the aspects of his relationship and breakup with Sabina. Other than that though, he does like cuddling and talking to someone about something other than his abundance of stuff.

Kevin puts on his best _“totally-not-disappointed”_ voice. “Yeah, it's cool.”

“Thanks, Kev,” Steven says, throwing Kevin a small smile before getting out of the bed. He gathers up his clothes, putting them on while he talks. “This was nice with uh, yeah that and everything after…”

Kevin knows Steven is going to be pink with embarrassment and anxiety trying to think of something to mention besides sex, so he speaks up. “Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

Might as well be doing something (especially since he needs to do laundry), Kevin gets up and dresses too. “Talking to you is nice. More interesting than looking at my phone, that's for sure.”

“And watching me sleep?”

“Remind me never to get high with you again.” Kevin’s remarks make Steven chuckle. Near the foot of the bed is Steven’s jacket and Kevin grunts shortly, bending down to pick it up.

“I liked getting high with you,” Steven says which makes Kevin scoff. He holds open the pink varsity jacket and Steven turns around, slipping it on. “Thank you. But, talking to you is nice too.”

Steven turns around, facing Kevin but his eyes are on his feet. “And listening..”

Kevin had a hunch. Hearing Steven admit that is gratifying, even if it’s in a strange way kind of nice. (Yet, a part of him hesitates; does Steven listen because he wants to or is he trying to fix Kevin?) Kevin smirks. “My voice must be your kink then.”

“Whatever makes you feel good, Kevin.” Steven meets Kevin’s eyes with a teasing smile. 

“I already do feel good, Steven,” Kevin says with a chuckle. “Let me walk you out ‘kay?” He doesn’t need to—not like Steven would get lost; he’s been here plenty of times—yet Kevin wants to. There’s this satisfaction Kevin has seeing the last image of Steven much better than when he came in.

“Sure,” Steven says, and the two walk out into the hall to the front door. Steven slips on his flip flops (which Kevin despises; he has given up on advising Steven to wear actual shoes as it only makes Steven more determined to wear them) and runs his hand through his hair, smoothing down the last few misplaced curls.

“Ever think about cutting your hair?” Kevin asks, his hand reaching up to his own hair before stopping and redirecting it to his neck.

“Maybe. I kinda want to see if I can get it into a ponytail.” Steven smirks. “Does that not mean your standards?”

“No, just wondering.” Kevin rubs his neck, his eyes going to the wallpaper. “I think a ponytail would look nice on you.” And the more Kevin thinks about it (pushing aside all those fuzzy, post-sex thoughts), there could be so many freaky stuff he could do to Steven with long hair. 

“Right...you're disgusting.”

“What?” Kevin snaps out of his daydream, and raises an eyebrow at Steven. “How am I disgusting? You don’t even know what I’m thinking!”

“Of course I do. You have that weird perverted smile on your face,” Steven replies, confident and all matter-of-fact like. His lips do curl upward and he opens his mouth to say more, but his right jacket pocket vibrates. He sighs, pulling out his phone and texts shortly before returning it back inside. “Sorry, my dad—and Pearl—want to remind me again about curfew.”

“It’s only eight-thirty,” Kevin says and rolls his eyes. “I still can’t believe they gave you a curfew. Aren’t you legally an adult?”

“Gosh, I know!” Steven huffs, and his face hardens. “But according to my dad and the Gems ‘as long as I live in their temple, it’s their rules’.” Steven does air quotes, scoffing after.

“Even though my dad doesn’t live there and the temple was built for _me_.” Steven’s cheeks glow pink, and Kevin moves to do his usual coaxing act, but stops short when he sees Steven take a breath and his glow go away. “I know they’re just doing all of this because they love me and I freaked them out that one time I stayed over. I can’t really blame them.”

“Wow, you’re—that’s mature,” Kevin says. Because if it was him, in that same situation, he doesn’t know how he would even react. He usually gets what he wants, and if not he takes it or does what he wants regardless.

“Thanks,” Steven says, and he rubs his arm. Neither of them speak and Kevin knows that means they’re at this part: the awkward goodbye. Usually Steven is the one to break the silence, saying goodbye be it a bit shy and clunky; lately, however, he's been hesitating as if he wants to say something more only to change his mind and leave. Kind of like now, for instance.

Because Kevin wants to end this uncomfortable misery, he takes the lead this time. “So, I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Uh-huh.” Steven shoves his hands in his jacket pockets.

“Text me when you wanna do this again, ‘kay?” Kevin wouldn’t mind if Steven did happen to text him without the pretense of sex or coming over. Texting just to text would be alright. Then again it might muddy the waters and Kevin does not want to open that can of worms. (But, still if Steven did happen to send him a funny picture or a simple ‘how was your day?’ Kevin could see himself indulging in that conversation.)

A short agreeable hum is Steven’s response. Kevin lingers for a moment, sensing Steven wants to say more. As usual though, nothing comes of it, so Kevin just turns slightly, starting to head to the living room. 

Kevin expects to hear the door open and shut, not the quick slapping of flip-flops. He certainly doesn’t expect to feel Steven pull on his arm and lips pressed against his ear.

“What the—” Kevin looks back, ready to complain about how gross that was and why would Steven even do that. The complaints go away when Kevin actually sees Steven standing there, red in the face and grimacing slightly.

Was Steven trying to...? Oh. Oh, he was! Kevin smiles, not bothering to hide his smugness. “Steven, were you trying to kiss me?”

“No!” Steven shouts and he recoils, his hand rubbing his neck. His eyes look up, obviously avoiding Kevin’s. “I, uh, I just—I mean, it was supposed to be a friendly type of thing. ”

“Friendly?” Kevin crosses his arms, and raises his eyebrows. “You do that to everyone you say goodbye to? Kiss them on the ear?”

Kevin does not know how it could be possible but Steven turns even redder, getting close to maroon. Steven stammers, fumbling with his words. “I don’t! That-that was supposed to be platonic! A kiss on the cheek! And I have kissed people like that!“

“My dad, the Gems, once Connie,” Steven says, keeping count on his fingers.

Kevin crosses his arms, so not convinced. “Uh-huh? Go on.”

“I—uh, I! You!” Steven stops to laugh which sounds way too forced out. “Oh my gosh! Do you hear that? I think that’s my phone. Pearl must be calling me again! I better go, bye Kevin!”

And Steven is out the door pretty fast. Faster than Kevin has seen anyone ever leave. Dumbfounded, Kevin stares at the spot Steven just was, running that whole interaction in his head then laughs. 

A kiss on the cheek sounds exactly like Steven. Being all sappy and affectionate. Adorable and chivalrous. Just Steven fucking Universe. Kevin considers going after Steven to taint him some more before he leaves or text him a teasing message. Rub in the joke some more.

Instead, Kevin just chuckles to himself, and goes to the living room, flopping down on the couch. He can’t muddy the waters. Maybe next time if he still remembers the incident, he’ll tease Steven about when he comes over. For now, Kevin will focus on finding something to watch. And besides...

At least Steven didn’t throw up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Me after taking an unintentional 3-4 month hiatus](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3vNS3qMibU)  
> Is anyone still reading this or have y’all all left lol 👀 I am sorry I am a perfectionist. I don't publish things until I'm absolutely sure about it and even then I always hold back. Hopefully this was good enough and satisfying. 
> 
> The ending is cheesy!!! I know! I'm sorry!😩 I like call backs okay! If you guys are wondering where I got the French from, it's from a Casually Explained video. I'll put the link [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a69toGGjoO0) and confession: I don't know any language besides English because I am basic 😔. So that video and Google was a big help!
> 
> See you in the next one! Synopsis down below:  
> VI. This is not a date!—Because Kevin needs to make that abundantly clear; Kevin’s POV


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